What I Expect

Prince of Darkness

Blame my fascination with cults for this chapter... 

Ishizu acts strange during our next phone call. Her voice is soft and defeated, she's submissive and withdrawn. I'm not the kind of person to just let something go, so I ask her outright what's wrong. She tells me with a voice devoid of emotion that Rishid called her last night. He called her and berated her over her 'keeping secrets' from him, for not telling him I had a boyfriend. He must have looked me up online and saw Akefia on my insta. He got angry and yelled, telling her how much she and I are breaking down familial relationships because we don't have a relationship with him. 

I try to tell her that isn't true. Remind her that he is the one who shunned us. That if he reached out I'd be happy to form a relationship with him provided he accepts me as who I am, stops rejecting me and shaming me for who I am. Who I love, the fact that I'm attending a university, the fact that I'm an atheist. That's all I need to accept him back fully into my life as my brother. But I know I'm not going to get that. So he needs to justify his own actions by blaming us. 

"I just miss him, Marik. I miss him, I want our family back," 

"Sister, I love you. I want out family back too. But it isn't your fault, I promise," I encourage, listening to her whimper over the phone. "We are a family, we are all we need Ishizu," 

She agrees with me, but the agreement is hollow. I can tell I haven't actually convince her and that's so frustrating. I want to hug her and get it into her head how truly shameful it is that our own brother won't talk to us for not believing in the stupid cult. 

I arrive at university in a fouler mood than before. Sitting in the lecture theatre, I barely notice when Mai approaches me. She sits beside me and immediately knows something is off. "What's up?" I turn to her in mild surprise and she raises her eyebrows. She looks pleased with herself, her suspicions confirmed. "You can't hide anything from me, hun," 

"First of all, creepy," I take down some notes from the powerpoint in shorthand but I'm not paying attention to their explanations. "But what's wrong is that my sister is upset and it's a complicated issue. I just don't know what I can do to help her and I'm pissed at... someone... for damaging her recovery like this," 

"I'm sorry Marik. It's rough when family are going through shit like that," she places her hand on mine, leaning against me for a side-arm hug. "But you're a great brother. I've seen you support your sister and even me! If anyone can help their family through a hard time, it's you hun," 

"Omg you're making me cry," I fan my eyes, closing them briefly to get over that heart-wrenching speech of hers without actually bursting into tears in my lecture hall. "This is why you're my best friend," 

We do a small, double high-five before turning back to the lecturer and paying attention, jotting down what's important as he goes on historical tangents. One of the things he talks about is ethics in psychology, which I admit I have some unorthodox viewpoints of. For example, when you finish a report or experiment during which you've deceived the participant, you have to tell them at the earliest possible time what the reality of it was. Personally, I don't think you should have to tell them afterwards. I mean what does that even accomplish? 

I arrive home and Akefia is in Melvin's room, the door wide open. Staring inside, I see they're on the floor playing draughts. The hospital never had these kinds of games and I've never seen them before. I sit by Akefia, watching them play in fascination. It seems kind of like chess but with simpler, less complex moves that somehow also have... bigger impact? The objective is also different, and it seems like there's more options to get a concrete win. I just play on my phone until they finish their 'best of 3' match, a stories game I actually kinda like, with premises that aren't too out there.