Boundless

제 29 장

⸻

I sat curled in the closet, staring at the silver pistol — heavy, cold, gleaming in the dull lightning that slipped through the cracks.
Rage bubbled up inside me, rising fast, suffocating, as I struggled to stand. I clutched my back, planting my knees firmly beneath me, the gun trembling in my hand as I charged toward the door.

"Jae! Jae, where are you?" I shouted, my voice desperate, echoing down the hallway.

"I'm in here," he called from behind me.

I turned on my heel, the gun raised above my head, wild and shaking.
"What the hell are you doing with that? Give it to me!" Jae demanded, grabbing the weapon from my trembling hands.

"Why was there a gun in our closet?" I snapped.

"For our safety, my love," he answered calmly, walking back into our bedroom.
I followed him, anger heavy in my chest.

"Jae, what are you? Crazy? A gangster? Why do you have a gun? Are you out of your mind?"
Frustration darkened his face.
"I'm not going out and shooting people, Athena."

I scoffed, bitter and sharp.
"Where the hell did you even get a gun?"

He ignored me, slipping the weapon back into a shoebox like a secret he wished would disappear.
"Jae, get that out of here. Are you serious right now?"
I grabbed his arm, forcing him to face me. His eyes rolled, and he dragged a hand down his face in exasperation.

"I got it to protect us," he said quietly. "In case something like that ever happens again."

"You told me I wouldn't have to go through that again, Jae," I whispered, voice trembling. "Why would you need a gun if that was true? Why?"

He spun around sharply, his voice rising like a storm.

"You fucking tell me! I'm just trying to protect our family! What's so wrong about that? Do you even know how much that day haunts me?"

Jae never yelled.
He never swore at me.
But tonight, something inside him broke open.

I bit my lip, holding back the sting in my chest.
"Why are you yelling at me? Don't you think that day haunts me too?"
My voice cracked.
"Having a gun doesn't make you strong, Jae. It makes you weak."

Silence fell, heavy and stunned. His anger, my hurt, both lingering like smoke between us.

"Athena..." he said, softer now, reaching for me.

I turned my back to him.

"I see a change in you, Jae. Before I give birth, you better find your way back."
My voice was low but firm as stone.

He followed me down the hall.
"Athena, I'm not getting rid of the gun," he said, voice resolute.

I stopped, placing a hand on my growing stomach, steadying myself with the life inside me.
I turned and locked eyes with him — unblinking, unwavering.

"Either get rid of the gun," I said slowly, "or I'm not staying here."

"Athena, don't do this to me," he pleaded. "You don't understand. I'm keeping it for emergencies. I'm not going to run to it every time something bad happens."

I shook my head, heart breaking.

"I said what I said."

Jae Eun was terrified — so terrified that fear had twisted itself into paranoia.
And though I understood where it came from, I couldn't — wouldn't — live with it.

⸻

Ms. Park folded a mint green blanket, smoothing the fabric with loving hands before placing it into the baby's cradle.
The color matched the hospital bag packed carefully for the days to come — two months, maybe less.
She was preparing me for the moment I feared, for the day when my heart would live outside my body.

Jae and I weren't speaking much.
We had fought about the gun again before bed, harsh words exchanged like knives.
He had stormed off to his office, leaving the bed empty beside me until well past midnight.
I only found sleep once I heard the soft, broken hum of his snores through the door.

I hated fighting with my husband.
I hated the silence even more.

That morning, Ms. Park and I left the nursery and made our way downstairs.
Jae sat in the living room, buried in stacks of papers spread across the coffee table.

I sank into the single armchair; his mother sat beside him.
"Son," she said gently, "the baby's almost here. You must be trying to finish everything before then."

He didn't even look up.
"That... and I want to be home. Just in case something happens."

I rolled my eyes.
"Paranoid," I muttered under my breath.

His eyes shot up to meet mine, sharp and wounded.
He stood, but Ms. Park pulled him gently back down.

"Come now, you two," she said firmly. "This isn't the time to act like children. Fix this before the baby comes. You're pausing every precious moment, only to rewind it with regret. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

I nodded slightly.

"Ms. Park," I said quietly, "Jae Eun has a gun. I want him to get rid of it."

He scoffed under his breath.

"See? You don't understand what I do to keep us safe. You say you do, but clearly you don't," he said bitterly.

I narrowed my eyes, cold and unforgiving.
"Jae, do you understand the weight of having a gun in this house? One mistake — just one — can shatter everything. When you wield a gun, you hold the power to destroy. If you can't show me you're capable of protecting us without it, then I can't stay."

My words cut deeper than I intended.
Even Ms. Park shifted uncomfortably, her hands twisting in her lap.
And I hated that she had to hear me threaten the future of her son and unborn grandchild.

Jae stood up, shoulders squared, jaw tight.

"You don't have to leave, Athena," he said thickly.
"I can protect us. I will protect us. I'll get rid of the gun — and I'll prove my strength to you."

Tears stung the corners of my eyes.

"You don't have to prove anything to me," I whispered.
"I just want my husband back. The man who once held me and made me believe nothing could ever hurt us."

He reached for my hands, pulling them into his own.
A sigh left him, long and broken.

"I'm sorry. I love you so much," he murmured, his hand cradling my cheek.

"I love you too," I whispered back, the world blurring around him. "And you know what?"

"What?"

"You're going to be a great father."

His smile came slowly, like a sunrise after a storm.
He leaned down, pressing his lips to mine — warm, certain, real.

Ms. Park made a sound of mock displeasure, but a deep, throaty laugh rumbled from Jae's chest.
A sound so beautiful, so alive, it filled me with relief.

And for the first time in days, I believed we would be okay.

⸻