My Biggest Fear

Chapter 1

Maria's P.O.V

"Get off me please! Don't do this to me!" I pleaded but he didn't stop. Tears suddenly streamed down my face as if I just got out of the shower. He spread my legs and came on top of me. He was kissing me in places that he wasn't supposed to. He nibbled on my neck hungrily and I groaned in pain.

He kissed my lips so hard that it bled. I could smell the alcohol on him and I could feel his hot breath as he whispered everything that he was going to do to me.

I screamed for help so hard that I felt that I was going to pass out. I had no strength, I was so weak when I felt his fingers at my opening. I screamed again because of the pain I felt.

"Shut your mouth child or I will kill you after I'm done with you and don't you dare say a word to anyone." He threatened me as he held my throat with his rough hands and forced himself inside of me.

At that moment I felt my world crashing down. At 15 years old I lost my virginity not because I wanted to but because I was raped. I was lifeless on the bed, I couldn't move, I was still.

"Maria!!!". I heard my brother's voice and I immediately jumped out of my horrible dream.

It was just a dream.

I was sweating a lot and I started crying when I realized what just happened. It wasn't just a dream but a nightmare I had time after time which reminded me of the time I was raped by my aunt's boyfriend when I was only fifteen.

"Sis you had another nightmare, I'm so sorry". My brother said holding me in his embrace.

I loved my brother a lot. He's like a father to me and he's my only family. We are extremely close and we share everything with each other. He's the only one who knowns who I truly am.

I'm lucky to have him in my life.

" It's painful to sleep bro,I keep seeing his face and I keep feeling his weight on top of me". I cried in my brother's arms as he comforts me.

"It's not your fault Maria, I just wish I was there for you that night, none of this would have happened if I was there, I'm so sorry". He looked at me with tears running down his cheeks and held me tighter.

I know what happened wasn't my fault. I've been told so many times that it wasn't my fault but somehow I can't accept it.

I've been through therapy so many times. I've been given prescriptions for sleeping pills but the don't help. I hate sleeping because whenever I do I have the same dream over and over again. I see my biggest fear. It's very disturbing and scary. I didn't deserve this, I was only fifteen and now apart of me is gone forever. Sometimes to forget the memory of what happened I would do things that helped me to take my mind off it. Well in my case, it was to take my mind away from it. Most people think that the way I behave is really who I am but that's not true.

Well let me just say that before everything happened I was different. I enjoyed doing lovely things like planting flowers, singing, dancing, writing poems and stories, helping people and some other cool stuff but that night changed me, Completely.