My Biggest Fear

Chapter 27

Erick's P.O.V

I tried to open my eyes but it was so hard. It also felt hard to breathe.

My eyelids were very heavy but I managed to open them.

I sat up from the bed I was in and looked around the room and realized that I was in the doctor's office.

"You okay man?". I looked across the room and saw Jake.

"Yeah I'm good although I feel a little sore". I assured him.

"What happened today Erick?". He asked and whenever you hear him call me by my real name you know it's serious.

"You ain't doing good bro. I know you got issues but I always tell you, when you wanna let your anger out this in not the way, you gotta learn to think positive Ricky. This type of behavior is not good for you nor your health". Jake said.

Jake was like a brother to me. He knew about my life, he knew what I'm been through and he knows how I am. When my mom died he was the only one along with my aunt who understood me inside out. 

"I don't know Jake I really don't know what happened today. I guess I just wanted to feel what pain felt like. It's been a while yo. I guess I just wanted to feel what death feels like!". I shouted at him.

"Do you know Jake, how empty I feel. Today was the day mom died, she left me Jake she fuc- she left me. She's supposed to be here today man. I miss her so damn much". I sobbed.

"Erick I know the feeling yo, and I told you we're gonna get the asshole who killed her". Jake said.

"Holy shit I forgot. Aunt told me the other day that he escaped prison, I didn't even know that this man was in the prison after all these years of searching for him and now he's on the run doing god knows what". I continued.

"This is so messed up Steelo, we're gonna do something about it". He assured me and I just sighed.

He handed me some water and we just sat in silence.

"So you're still attending counseling session?". He asked.

"Yeah but it's been a while now since I went, guess I needed some time off". I replied.

"So is there a girl?". Jake asked.

"No". I replied blankly.

"Come on Steelo, there must be someone, even if it's for distraction". Jake prolonged.

"Okay Okay well there's this one girl that I like. Her name is Maria". I smiled as I thought of her.

"So how are things between you too?". He smirked.

"It's nothing serious, I haven't even told her I liked her. She's really a hot head. I don't want her to know who I am, I don't know her to know that I'm broken but there's just something about her. When I look in her eyes I see so much emotions. So many hidden truth, it's so difficult to get anything out of her. I just wanna know her man, I wanna know her story but she won't let me in". I told him.

"I can see that you really like her but you know what you gotta do man, if you want her to trust you, you gotta trust yourself and her. She won't just get up one day and let you in her life, you gotta show her that you're worthy to be in her life". Jake said.

"I will try Jake, I will try again". I reassured him and he nodded.

I hope you're right Jake.

I wanna know her.

I wanna know her truth.

I hope you're right Jake, I hope you're right.