Chapter 24: E
"Harry baby- Wait please" Louis called out, running towards Harry who was storming away angrily, "Please stop!"
"Why?" Harry grumbled, turning around in his spot and glaring at Louis who continued walking towards his boyfriend, the tension growing between them as he looked down at the floor ashamed of himself, "Why Louis?"
"I- I'm sorry Harry" Louis whispered and heard his boyfriend groan, "I didn't want to worry you, i thought i'd get better-"
"You are on cocaine Louis, cocaine." Harry yelled, his hands on his hips as he glanced over to Louis, "You are on drugs and to make it even worse you didn't tell me... I could have helped!? But no, Zayn was right you are selfish."
"Harry-"
"No, No i don't want to hear it. Do you know how dangerous that crap is? You are already so far down this fucking addiction i don't know if you can be saved Louis. What were you thinking? Taking cocaine. For what? To be cool? To feel accomplished? It's not cool I'll tell you that." Harry growled.
"I'll get help! I'm getting help. I'll do it for you baby, please" Louis sobbed, staring at Harry with teary eyes, practically begging for forgiveness, for any sort of empathy or remorse.
"Just-Just leave me alone for a bit okay?" Harry said, taking a step back from Louis, "I'll talk to you later"
Louis watched as Harry walked out of the school gates, watched as another person left his life. Falling to the floor Louis began to sob uncontrollably, wondering how the hell he fucked up his life this bad for it all to come down to this. Was the cocaine even worth it? Did he just have to put up with the feeling of uncontrolled emotions and actions in order to get off the shit and be able to live a normal life with his best friend and boyfriend?
Louis stood up, wrapping his jacket around his body before stepping outside of the school, his cheeks wet and his eyes sore. The walk home never felt so lonely, The trees seemed to loom over him and the blue skies seemed to turn a grey color. Looking at the intersection for his house he looked down the street, contemplating whether or not to go home.
He went straight instead.
Walking past all the residential areas and into the town, not knowing where he was going, just taking it one step at a time to calm his nerves. Turning a corner he glanced up to see the bakery; Harry's bakery. Walking in he heard the familiar ding of the bell, one that made his heart ache. Walking to the table where he and Harry first had a proper conversation he sat down.
It was difficult. It was so fucking difficult to remember those times, the ones where he sat at this very table obsessing over Harry's green eyes, the times when he didn't have to snort something to feel happy, the times when he could accomplish satisfaction from Zayn, from Harry, from anything.
But now things had changed. He was sitting in the bakery all alone, his world a little darker, his heart a little heavier and his mind clouded with unwanted thoughts about how nothing was going to be okay.
-
"Oh, I'm sorry Tomlinson... Are you two still together?" Justin asked, his voice muffled over the phone, "If you don't mind me asking that is"
"I don't know, all i do know is that i feel so fucking empty, i'm missing half of me, Zayn's gone, he made that pretty clear and now Harry?I'm loosing the two people i love most in my life. Gone, just like that." Louis explained.
He originally didn't want to call Justin, not wanting to burden him with his problems or what he was going through, he just met the guy a few nights ago, but something inside him felt the need to call someone and at the moment that one person was Justin, it was sad really how the one person he could call right now was someone he met not even a week ago.
"It'll get better man, try to utilize those therapy sessions when they arrive, try to get out of this addiction and stay the fuck away from drugs because as you've now experienced they are a good way to ruin your life"
"I get that now... I just miss them both, especially Harry. Our relationship was just getting started and i could really see him being in my life forever, it just sucks." Louis admitted, playing with his pen, he was supposed to be writing his new song but it seemed to be more difficult than the last time.
"I'm not sure if this will help but when i am mad or sad or whatever i go into the studio and just sing whatever comes to mind. I don't think you have full access to studios yet but i'll book you a room under my name, it's the one that's next to where my after party was." Justin offered.
"Thank you Justin."
-
"Now you know me, for your eyes only-"
Louis phone began to ring, his mind going from his new song to his phone. He had been in the studio for about 2 hours and he had just pieced together his chorus. Louis heart sunk when seeing the caller ID: Harry <3. Slowly picking up the phone he clicked accept, holding the phone up to his ear and waiting for the muffled sounds to go away.
"Meet me by the park, the one with that big tree, and the sandpit... I'll see you there" Harry said, hanging up as soon as he was finished.
Packing up his equipment he grabbed his things and exited the studio, walking in the dark towards the park, his heart thumping and his thoughts wondering what was going to happen. Would it be the end of their relationship? Or will things be okay? Louis only hoped it was the second one, hoping that maybe, just maybe, he would have something good happen to him today.
"Hello Harry" Louis whispered to him when walking into the park, standing next to him underneath the streetlight, the light shining down onto Harry in a beautiful manner.
"I'm going to talk and i don't want you to interrupt me, okay Lou?" He told him and Louis nodded slowly, embracing for the worst, "It was wrong for me to snap, to go off at you. I know addiction is hard, that its really fucking tough and it's easier said than done to break them. So i'm sorry about that.
But i'm not sorry about some of the things i said, the ones about how it's fucked up, the ones where you shouldn't have taken it in the first place, shit like that. Because it's wrong and a horrible thing to even want to try. But i will support you Louis, through it all, but only if you try to stop, i don't want you to take it anymore and if you feel the need to call a helpline or something okay? I'm here for you but only if you try"
"I'll try, i promise, for you" Louis said, a tear escaping his eye.
"I don't like us fighting" Harry admitted, shuffling his feet on the floor, "I missed you"
"I missed you too..." Louis began, "Hey Harry?"
"Yeah Lou?" Harry said looking at him in the eyes.
"I was sitting in the bakery you work at today, i sat at the exact table that we had our first conversation in and I- I realized something' He began, "I realized that i love you"
"Louis-" Harry started.
"No, You don't have to say it back, i know its rushed and really sudden but i love you and you don't have to love me back just yet and-"
Harry leaned up on his toes and pressed his lips against his to silence him, Louis kissing back almost immediately. Missing the warm feeling up against his, missing the way his arms wrapped around his neck. He missed Harry, every little thing about him he missed, he was going to stop for him no matter what it took.
He was going to stop for moments like these, moments where they would kiss under the streetlights, where they cuddle whilst watching a movie, where he could listen to embarrassing stories of each other and blush and be all cute, just the two of them. He'd stop for the two of them.
He'd get better, things were going to get better.
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written on these walls • l.s ✔
FanfictionA boyfriend, a talent/passion for music and a bag of cocaine, those were the things Louis Tomlinson were hiding. With his best friend, a boy he's forced to like and a certain boy with green eyes, he's not sure he can take up the challenge of being a...