The Wish (Book One)

Chapter 57: About to Snap

Studies have shown that it takes twenty one days to break a habit. That's bullshit, because it's now been exactly four months, and I'm still addicted to Jason Foreman. Sadly, he never appeared on Christmas, or for the New Year. Not even a phone call that I'm aware of. Axel doesn't tell me much, so it's hard to tell.

Pink, puffy clouds scatter amongst the baby blue sky. My sun kissed skin has dispersed, no evidence that I had a tan. All my lines blend in with my now snow white skin.

Over the holidays, I watched as my son would rip and tear the wrapping paper off his presents. My mother used to complain because wrapping paper was a waste of money. We only tear it up, then toss it. Much like toilet paper, it's money down the drain. 

I don't mind paying for wrapping paper, or to wrap the presents. I enjoy it actually. Love seeing the faces Axel makes, when he's not expecting what I bought him. Like when he opened his brand new Xbox One. I've never seen him so happy, except for the time I took him to his first baseball game. 

Axel has a few more days off, where I have to be back to work tomorrow. I have a doctors appointment today, technically in twenty minutes. The air outside is dry enough, I believe I'll walk to it. The clinic is only a block or so away, I'll be fine, as long as I bundle up. 

I force my swollen feet that are covered with wool socks; into snow boots. The once oversized coat, now fits me perfectly. I pull a hat and gloves on. Wrapping the scarf around my neck and mouth, only leaving out my eyes. At least I match. I tried to wake Axel up to go with me, but he yelled at me. When I went to try again, he swatted, and I'm not having that. 

So I locked all the doors, left a note and carried on my way. It shouldn't take long at all. They're just doing a check up, to make sure everything's in order. I step outside, the weather brings unintentional tears to my eyes. I can feel my nose already turning red from the nipping cold. Steam from my nostrils creates fog in front of me. 

Each crunch under my boots boisterous, I can feel the impact. To distract myself, I hum a familiar tune. One that causes me to think of the lover I once knew all too well. Patsy Cline-She's Got You. Hell even the song, I Fall To Pieces by her makes me want to bawl. But I can't help but love her soothing, unique tone of voice. 

Caught in the distraction of song, a truck speeds up, almost hitting me. I jump out of the way quickly, he beeps as if it were my fault. I turn to get a look, he stops, pulls over to the side of the road. I start to march my feet quicker, struggling with all the weight I carry. A door slams. Don't look back. He won't bother you. I close my eyes, not because of the cold, but because I'm terrified. 

What if he hurts our baby? "Hey!" Not looking back, I start to run. My deep exhales caught in my scarf, warming my face. The impact of my feet bouncing off the ground fills my ears. My heart begins to pound, and I feel like I'm already out of breathe. Why didn't I work out more? 

Before I know it, a hand grips my shoulder, spinning me around. "What the hell is wrong with you?! You almost made me hit you!" What's wrong with me?! Any sane person would have kept driving! Maybe if you weren't driving like a lunatic, you would have saw me in time.

The man's pale green eyes have seen better days. Blood shot, wired, boring into me. He eyes me like I'm a drug that he needs to take, until fixed. Not scared that he might overdose.

He tugs me closer to his bony body. Dingy blond hair seeps out of his ball cap. This guy hasn't showered in days. He smells like three day old rubbish, too lazy to take out the trash.

"Aren't you listening to me you bitch?" I can't say a word, or even make a move. He could be armed for all I know. My mind keeps repeating the same thing, over again. Protect your little bud. "All you whores are alike. You don't know how to listen." He raises a hand high into the colorless sky. "I'll teach you!"