The Wish (Book One)

Chapter 60: Woke

A premature natural labor, Jason was right. We had a baby girl. I named her in his honor. Everly Rose Foreman. Here in the hospital after being in labor for over twelve hours. All the pain and screaming, was well worth it. I'd do it a million times over.

She looks so much like her daddy. Dark, rich brown hair, I hope she gets my curls. I wait for the day to find out if she has Jason's gorgeous grays, or my boring brown. I know that every time I look at her, she'll only remind me of him, and what a hero he was. I brush her tanned skin softly, kissing her right on that little nose. So beautiful. I start to cry. Jason wasn't here. Wasn't here to witness the birth of his first child.

If she ever asks questions regarding her father, I'll tell her all about him. How we met, his baseball career, that beautiful smile, I can't wait to talk her ear off about Jason.

Everly starts to cry with me, as if she knows someone is missing. Her daddy. Axel stands up and hugs the both of us. Watching Everly in awe, such a delicate body wrapped in his mother's arms.

He is now an older brother. I hope he protects his little sister with everything. Teaches her to stay away from boys. I hope they have a friendly sibling relationship, but still pick on each other.

"Why are you crying mom?" Tilting his head to the side. How do I even explain this to him? Such a child, doesn't even know the harsh reality of life.

I sniffle my nose and try to wipe my tears, but fail. Everly is keeping me occupied. Axel notices and wipes them for me. I gently rock her back and forth, trying to quiet her down before I feed her. "I just wish Jason was here, that's all."

Axel looks around the room, as if Jason will just magically walk through the door. "But he is mom. Jason is here."

I smile and nod my head. Yea, but it's not the same. He should have been here, holding my hand, calming me down. Should have told me to push, kissed the tears away. I wish I could taste his lingering lips just one more time. God it's horrible. The thoughts keep playing in my head. He didn't get to see her birth. His first child and he never got to experience it.

I tell Axel to watch the tv that's in the hospital room, so I can feed Everly. There's a soft knock at the door, one of the doctors walk in. She interrupts our little moment, the first time feeding my daughter.

I haven't breast fed in over eight years, it brings back so many wanted memories. Like it was then, I'm alone. That's the main reason why I didn't want anymore kids, because I knew I'd end up taking care of them alone.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience Ms. Jones. I know you haven't had much time to spend with your daughter." She's right, I haven't. There's not enough time in the world to spend with her. My little girl. My only daughter. "But we need to take little Everly and put her on a breathing tube."

Since she was born early, she's already having troubles. They need to put her on oxygen. I sneak down and kiss her smooth forehead. Brushing back strands of dark hair, I start to cry all over again. "Mommy will be right here. I'll never leave you. I promise." The doctor walks over, I lean up and give Everly over. She gives me a small reassuring smile, letting me know that my daughter will be okay.

Without her I feel empty. She warmed my heart even more, and I'm lost without her. It hasn't even been a minute yet and I need her. I'm so selfish, I don't want anyone else to hold her. I want her to stay by my side, so I can protect her from the bad. But I know this is what she needs. It breaks my heart, because I only want her to be healthy.

"Mommy?" Axel twists his head and faces me. I probably look a mess. I had Axel call an ambulance to come get me as soon as my water broke. Poor boy, I had him worried, he didn't know what was happening. Neither did I really. It's happened before, the same exact way. Alone. Afraid.