Before You

Chapter 1

I silently stare down at the brown leather bags on my floor. I bought them a few years ago, but they look brand new. No holes or wear-and-tear shown anywhere on them. I guess that's no surprise since I haven't traveled anywhere. A few years ago, my mother and I had one of our seemingly often arguments about my future. I told her my plan to move for college and she dismissed me before I could even finish talking. As soon as she resorted to her bedroom, I quickly drove to a nearby store and purchased a brown leather 3-piece luggage set. I was determined that I was going to use that luggage and get as far from my small town as possible...and soon. Now here I sit, looking at this luggage that was put away in my closet and never used, until now, almost 3 years later.

I wanted to leave immediately for college. I wanted to pack my bags and move as soon as I graduated high school. I had everything planned out in my mind and on paper. The only obstacle that stood in my way was my mother. The conversation had to happen and I was ready for it. I came home from the grocery store, one of my weekly chores, in anticipation of talking to her. If my plans were going to happen, I couldn't wait any longer to tell her. As a senior in high school, my plans needed to be sorted out. We sat down at our dark oak dining table gifted to us by my grandparents. She was very quiet, keeping her lips pressed together in a straight line. I took a deep breath and began speaking as calmly as I could. After ten minutes, she knew my plans to move to Atlanta at the end of summer, get settled into an apartment and become familiar with the city before starting my classes in the fall. I was just about to tell her about the college campus, when she stood, crossing her arms in front of her, and looking down at me in anger.

"You'll never make it in Atlanta. You'll be home before you even get started. You're wasting your time", she said. With that, she resorted to her bedroom closing the door behind her and leaving me in shock.

My mother, Grace, is a pretty simple woman. She works during the week as a receptionist at a local hospital. She's very friendly, polite, and a top-notch people pleaser. Not to mention a hopeless romantic, which is easy to see. She believes your appearance should always be a priority. Standing at 5 feet 8 inches, my mother looks very put together. Her straight light brown hair hangs just below her shoulders and is always styled to perfection. Her petite body is always clothed in what's trending at the time, and she would never consider leaving the house in anything less. Growing up she would politely point out if my outfit, hair, or makeup weren't up to par. It wouldn't take long for her to realize that I wasn't going to change on her behalf. So, she would continue forward with her morning carrying a look of disgust on her flawless face. It seemed like my mother lived each day in pursuit of her soul mate. She believed that "the one" was out there and she was determined to find him. I guess that's why she was always dressed to impress and so well put together. She went through numerous relationships during my childhood. She had a long list of expectations for each of her boyfriends. As soon as she realized they couldn't live up to those expectations, she would end it. She never seemed satisfied.

My mind wanders to Brad. Brad is my mother's current boyfriend. She's been seeing him for about 2 months now. He's nice and a people pleaser just like her. He's around her age and good looking. He falls into the "type" that she usually goes for, which is tall, dark hair, and clean cut. Poor guy. It probably won't be much longer and she'll be moving on. Maybe it's not that these men don't meet her expectations. Maybe she just gets bored with them.

"Evy!" my mother's voice echoes throughout my small bedroom pulling me out of my thoughts.

"I'm coming!" I say as I grab two of my leather bags and head for my bedroom door. I stop for a moment and look around my bedroom. My bed is made and posters still hang on the walls. I hope I don't see this room again for a long time. As soon as I open the door my mother is staring at me while taping her watch.

"You're going to be late. You know, since Atlanta is waiting on you". The amount of sarcasm in her voice rings in my ears. I bite my tongue trying to stay as silent as possible. Now isn't the time.

I quietly load the remainder of my bags and boxes in my car not wanting to start an argument. I throw my purse in the front seat of my car and turn around to see my mother walking towards me. She couldn't possibly be walking any slower. As she reaches my door, she gives me a quick, yet tight hug. "Have a safe trip. I'm sure you'll be back soon".

"Goodbye Mother". I could have said more. I could have argued and snapped back at her like I do most days, but today is different. Today is my day. I will not lose my temper and let her see me upset. I get in the driver seat of my Toyota Corolla and shut the door behind me. As I pull out of my driveway, I remind myself to not look back. Before I fully take in the thought that just occurred, my eyes wonder to my rearview mirror to see my mother. I make a right onto the highway and take in one last glance of her standing in the distance behind me. For a split second I see one of her hands gently pressed against her mouth and her eyes closed tight. There's no way she's crying. Right?

I try to push the thought out of my mind and slowly press down on the gas pedal. The sky is blue and the sun is radiating. I'll take as much of it as I can before the cool fall weather begins. This is it. This is happening. I turn the radio up as I merge onto I-16. There's 248 miles to Atlanta. Here goes.