Vkook/Taekook -- One Shots

My Insecurities

I have a problem.

My crush, Jeon Jungkook, confessed to me.

Yes, I do like him but I was not prepared to date.

Therefore, we only just let our feelings crossed and things have been awkward between us every time we met.

We would have an awkward break every 10 minutes and it was during those breaks I considered to break things off although we are of nothing yet.

We talked about his ex admirers and the people he had listed out left my jaw dropped.

I knew who they were. Most of them were pretty flawless. They're good in academics and sports. Tall and handsome.

Unlike me.

So that's why I start to doubt his feelings for me. Why does he even like me ? When I'm so weird and not as handsome as the ones he had listed?

Why is it me that he likes? Even I question my whole existence. I'm not cool and I'm not that smart either. I'm a loner in school and no one really notices me.

It's really complicated. Really.

But it's not his fault. It's all mine.

I'm the one who makes things awkward whenever I try to work out some topics to talk about. I wonder if we're going to be okay if this keeps going.

I can only wonder.

That's because I don't know much about him and I get so shy to even ask him. Though he said we can chat about everything. I still couldn't muster up my words and speak them out.

Sometimes, I really wish none of this happens.

I really wish I never like him.

I really wish we never crossed paths.

I want to revert to who I really was.

I'm just not capable to love.

I don't know what to do.

That's why, I decided to keep silent just so he will get bored of me or get mad at me for not even putting in efforts for the sake of our relationship.

I mean we weren't even dating to begin with.

Therefore,

nothing started and nothing ever happens.

It's my own doubts that send me to doubt our relationship because I don't feel worthy enough to be in it.

I am the cause of my draining self-esteem.

It hurts so much.

-- 18/4/19

Thanks for reading.