Vkook/Taekook -- One Shots

04:02 a.m. Part 2

Taehyung's POV

Day 1 (02:39 a.m.)

I made it through the day. I didn't shed a single tear today though I almost did. I nearly gave in to my aching heart from overthinking.

Other than that, I tried to think positive and prevented swollen eyes.

In the past , I feel like there's a huge difference between 'love youuu ❤️' and 'I love youuu ❤️'

Like one is just for convenience and one is genuine. But now, it matters less. As long as you still say those words, I'm going still convey them as the same interpretation.

Though, right now in my mind, maybe you don't really care much about me but the fact that you're still with me, I'm glad because maybe you actually do care but you suck at expressing it.

We are totally opposites. One would never thought we'd end up together but here we are after almost a year. I am still trying to learn everything about you because I love you that much. I want to be able to read your actions. What could have disturbed you. Just everything about you.

No one knows if we'll be able to make it till the end but I want this to work out between us despite us still being teens.

I am taking you serious but I will respect every of your decisions in the future even though it might hurt me.

Please. Let us be happy.

--

Day 2 (23:17 p.m.)

I always remind myself.

Not to expect so much from a relationship because in the end, you will be left with disappointment.

And once again, I'm emotionally hurt.

I feel so coped up that I don't think crying helps anymore. I don't want to cry anymore.

But to be honest, I feel very disappointed now. Maybe at him and most importantly myself.

The world does not revolve around me, I know. They've got their own life to live. I mean, I've got mine!

But I seriously can't help it anymore.

Is it that hard to tell me?

I'm always so upset with myself. What can I do to change that?

You were so lovely today in the car. I enjoyed every moment with you but when it comes to texting, it's like I'm being with two different people.

I don't know how your mind works.

Can disappointment turn to me being mad at him?

I've never really gotten mad that him though.

That's it, I'm going to sleep.

Good night.

(00:37 a.m.)

You know what, I AM DONE. I AM SO DISAPPOINTED BUT I CAN'T GET NAD AT HIM. I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH 😭😭.

Day 3 (19:28 p.m.)

I've been given some advice from my best best best friend, Jiminie.

And there are some things that everyone should know in a relationship.

I am so grateful for him that I've come to realise so much that could drag a relationship down into the drain.

I've learnt that I shouldn't compare my love for him and his love for me. I shouldn't compare about the things we sacrifice for each other. I really shouldn't compare about how each individual express their love.

One could be through actions and one could be through words.

I shouldn't care about the number of emojis he sent and how frequent he's asked about me.

Right now, I'm all past that and I'll look forward to how he still sends me good morning and good night texts. Yes, I'm quite desperate for his attention because I feel like I haven't been getting some from him.

Sighs.

Does he even think about me?

Nonononononono, stop thinking like that, Taehyung! I'm pretty sure he loves you and he's pretty real about his feelings.

If not, why would he be with me, right?

Really, love has blinded me.

But I don't mind though. I don't mind getting hurt over and over again for him.

I don't mind sacrificing my time for him.

How do I express all of above to him.

Right, another thing as we all know, communication is key.

I've reminded both of us the moment we dated. I've reminded myself that up till date but in reality, I don't think I've been doing that well.

I tried though. I told him what my pet peeves are, what my dislikes are, what I prefer when we text, how I wish he would text me often but no. I don't think anything's changed.

How do I open this up to him? Ask him to read my daily journal??

I really want him to know what I'm currently feeling but I didn't want to add any more problems to his now current problems, you get me?

Maybe for now, I'll just keep it in the dark. I don't want him to be sad, that hurts me the most.

Him hurting, hurts me twice as much. I could cry for him.

Am I acting or thinking too much? I just want to talk to him. How's his day, what is he feeling but how he said was I'm fineeeee, today's boring as usualll.

AND THAT'S IT.

Okay, maybe only that happened on that day. Maybe he is just bored and he didn't do anything much. Maybe he just didn't have anything to share or tell me.

And again, is this what they called expecting too much.

I knowwwwwwww. Maybe I am a little too much.

Sighsss...

(00:36 a.m.)

We met again at night. You were super sweet. We hugged, kissed and chatted lots but I was caught off guard when he said there could be possibilities that we might not end up together in the future.

He listed out examples from experiences from his friends and youtubers.

He said, no one knows what's going to happen to us in the future.

Surely enough, I was saddened by that but what he said was right.

No one knows what the future might unfold.

But I want to be with him for as long as possible.

That's why, I will try my best.

Day 4 (unknown)

You know what could've filled this hole in my heart?

I need to learn about myself.

Take care of the needs I need.

Respect myself and make myself feel more loved than anyone could give.

Yeah...

-- 15/1/2020

Thanks for reading!