Angel Wings and Demon Pitchforks

2. Let's Get Down to Business - And No Gabriel Not to Defeat the Huns

"Alright," Lucifer said from the head of the table, "I've called this family meeting to discuss an important matter."

He snapped his fingers and the youngest sibling, Samandriel, wheeled in a large whiteboard. The board had been divided in two halves, one had the title of 'Dad' and the other 'Mum'. The outside of the board was decorated with stickers of multicolour stars, band names, random skulls and pride flags.

"Where in the hell did you get that?" Uriel asked.

"Somewhere near my throne," The older boy replied vaguely. The table of children groaned and Lucifer clapped his hands.

"Now let's get down to business- and no Gabriel this time it is not to defeat the huns. Now good old Mum and Dad have decided that half of us will move in with Mum and the other half will go to Dad and we will do some weekly dinner thing or whatever - I was only half listening. Anyway they decided that it would be to best if we choose what house we wanted to go to. So, any preferences?"

"Wherever you aren't." Raphael said, raising his hand. Lucifer gasped dramatically.

"I mean, I agree, I wouldn't want to live with you either, but that was just rude." He added his name under 'Dad' and Raphael's under 'Mum'. He pointed his whiteboard marker at Castiel. "What about you Cassie? Where would you like to go?"

The boy looked up from his phone, confused as to what was going on.

"Sorry, Charlie was texting me. What's happening?"

"Choose a house to live in." Lucifer sighed.

"Dad's." The boy answered simply.

"I'm going with Castiel." Balthazar stood up from his seat. The group sighed.

"Here we go again." Anna muttered.

"We have known each other since the beginning of time itself and-"

"We've known each other since we were ten." Castiel interrupted.

"Since the beginning of time!" Balthazar continued, ignoring Castiel's comment. "And we cannot be separated. Who else will I be able to taunt because they are so socially awkward?"

"Literally half the people at this table"

"Who else will I be able to confide my secrets in?"

"Raphael."

"Who else can I talk to about girls?"

"I'm literally one of the gayest people here."

"Who else will willingly let me copy their homework in the middle of the night because I have forgotten to do mine?"

"It's definitely not willingly."

"You can't put me with Gabriel, he's an idiot!" Balthazar sits down signalling the end of his speech.

"Hey!" Gabriel yelled.

"No one was opposing you Balth, the speech wasn't necessary." Anna says from the other side of the table.