Angel Wings and Demon Pitchforks

44. I Can Cry If I Want To

Sam watched his brother leave. Others watched, worried, as he left with Lucifer.

"Sam," Gabriel started slowly.

"This isn't going to end well," Sam thought out loud.

"Are you okay?"

"Me? I'm fine. Michael's the one I should worry about. I'm going to check on him."

"I'll come with you," Gabriel said quickly. Sam smiled gratefully and took his hand.

—

Lucifer closed the door slowly. It was so slow that Michael wanted to slam it closed. But Michael also wanted to run, he wanted to run away from this conversation and back to the first day they sat under their tree. Where things weren't like this and Lucifer wasn't looking at him so coldly.

"Out there- what you said- you said that soulmates weren't real." Michael held his breath. Lucifer's voice was so calm, so controlled. It was never like that. Michael felt a lump in his throat slowly growing.

"Yes. I did." The air was so thick Michael thought he might pass out.

"But Michael we're soulmates."

Michael just stood there. He didn't know what to say.

"Michael you have to believe that soulmates exist. Michael we're soulmates." Tears began to well up in Lucifer's eyes, his voice was breaking, he looked like he was going to break.

"What did you tell Raphael?" Michael tried to change the subject.

"What?"

"Charlie said you told Raphael that we were dating. What did you tell him?"

Lucifer sighed. "I accidentally told my entire family that I had a boyfriend. They think it's you because you called on Christmas."

"You—" Michael choked. His mind raced. He took a step back.

"What about me?" Lucifer raised his voice enough to make Michael flinch, but the blond didn't care this time. "You just said you don't love me."

"That's not what I said." Michael protested. "and how could you tell them? You said you wouldn't tell them."

"What is there to tell them Michael? We haven't really decided anything have we?"

"But I never said I didn't love you!"

"Then why the hiding? Why the secrets? Why are you saying soulmates don't exist? And if they don't then how do I know you love me?" Tears fell down Lucifer's cheeks.

"Just stop!" Michael snapped.

—

"You're the one who said that soulmates don't exist! I just want to know what you think we are. If we're not soulmates and you don't want to call us boyfriends, what are we then?" Sam and Gabriel didn't mean to eavesdrop. But here they were, huddled against the hallway wall. They'd walked into the house, but stopped when they heard the yelling.

"I don't know! I was just saying that I don't believe in soulmates and you shouldn't either. Why can't we just be in a relationship if we're not soulmates?"

"Are you saying we're not soulmates?" Lucifer asked, furious. "Where's this coming from all of a sudden? You just wake up one morning and hate me? Hate the idea that we're together?"

"I was just trying to—"

"Oh so you do hate me, hate whatever this is."

"Lucifer, I didn't say that—"

"But you didn't deny it."

The room was silent. Even Sam and Gabriel didn't breathe.

"I didn't want a boyfriend." He whispered.

"You don't want a boyfriend?" Lucifer paused giving Michael one last chance, but Michael stayed silent. "Fine. You don't have one."

Lucifer stormed out and the front door slammed, shaking the photo frames on the walls.

Michael dropped to the ground, his heart shattering. His sobs broke through the silence of the household.

Sam put a hand over his mouth, feeling the heaviness of the situation settle over him.