Angel Wings and Demon Pitchforks

35. Putting Your Heart On the Line

"You have Lisa's number?" Cas asked, looking up from Dean's phone, trying to hide the hurt and jealousy that crawled to the back of his throat.

Dean didn't notice and shrugged, not looking up from his homework on his knee. They were working on a school project in Dean's room. On his bed. Cas was doing all he could to keep his face from erupting like a tomato.

"I don't know, I got it last week or something. You know, for the English presentation that we were assigned? Shame you and I aren't working together on that."

"Oh, yeah." Cas turned Dean's phone off, placing it face down on the blanket.

"Anyway, what were you saying we should do for the research part?" Dean finally looked up at Cas and the poor Novak's heart skipped a beat.

"The... something— booklet..."

"A booklet format? Yeah that could work..." Dean tapped his pen against his knee in thought. "Do you want to handle formatting?"

"Sure." Cas, for probably the fourth time that afternoon, looked at the amulet on Dean's chest. There was no mistaking it. His birthmark and the amulet around Dean's neck were exactly the same.

"You keep looking at the amulet," Dean said and Cas's attention snapped back up to his eyes. "You really like it, huh?"

"It's nice," Cas squeaked.

Dean smirked and pulled the cord over his head. "Here." He held the amulet out to Cas. "I don't have much of a use for it now, and besides it clashes with my eyes," he added in a playful manner. Cas had to bite back the reply that the gold in the amulet complimented the green in Dean's eyes perfectly, and carefully took the necklace.

Cas turned the amulet over in his hand. It was some kind of totem or something, an Aztec looking head with horns and big ears. Cas pretended to study it, but in reality, he knew every detail of it from analysing his birthmark in the mirror.

He went to hand it back to Dean, but he shook his head.

"You keep it," Dean said. "Like I said, I don't have much use for it and you seem to like it."

"But Sam—"

"It's just an amulet, I'm sure he won't mind. I want you to have it Cas. You're my best friend."

Cas blushed. He mumbled a thanks and put the amulet on, letting it fall on top of his shirt.

"It suits you," Dean smiled. "Matches your trench coat." There was a pause of silence as they looked into each other's eyes before Dean cleared his throat. "Anyway, back to homework." He shifted and adjusted his book on his knee, his other leg hanging off the side of the bed.

"Hey," Cas wasn't going to go back to homework so quickly, "Balthazar was telling me about this really good restaurant just out of town." Dean looked back up from his book. "Apparently he took Stacie there on the weekend. They serve really good pie and burgers."

"Is the pie better than Ellen's?" Dean asked.

"No of course not," Cas scoffed. "But, he said that they come as a close second."

"I'll be the judge of that. Do you want to go some time?"

Cas's heartbeat picked up. "Like, what, a date?"

"Nah, nothing formal," Dean said. "We can invite Gabe and Sam. Maybe even see if Lucifer and Michael want to go too." Cas swallowed and started fiddling with the ends of his trench coat.

"Yeah, that sounds good, I'll ask them." Cas looked at Dean. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, his leg was tucked under his English book. There was a long silence. "Dean." Cas said suddenly. Dean looked up.

"Yeah?"

Cas knew what he had to do to fix this. This aching in his chest. This constant pining was getting painful. But really, he couldn't do it. The only way to fix it, to make it all better, was to kiss Dean. But Cas...

No. He could do it. Put the courage to the sticking point. It was just a kiss, really. Only a kiss. Just a kiss.

Just—

Cas shuffled closer to Dean. The latter didn't back away, which Cas took as a good sign.

One—

Cas leaned in. His heart pounded. But he could do this.

Kiss.

It was small, it was chaste, but it was perfect.

Cas pulled away, his heart pounding like a drum in his ears, searching for Dean's reaction.

Dean's eyes were wide.

"Get out." Dean's voice was hushed. It was almost horrified. Cas instantly regretted his decision. "Get out of my house."

Words stopped themselves in Cas's throat. He couldn't speak. Dean's eyes were wide, furious, scared.

"Get out." Dean's fist connected with Cas's jaw, sending him to the floor.

"Dean," Cas stammered, holding his cheek. "What-"

"Get out!" Dean screamed. Cas scrambled to his feet and stumbled out, running into Sam on the way to the stairs.

"Cas? I heard a yell--" Cas was suddenly overcome by anger. Anger at Dean, anger at himself, anger at the stupid burning feeling on his chest that wasn't going away. He tore the amulet over his head. It really did mean nothing. Nothing to him. Nothing to Dean. Nothing to no one. Cas pushed it into Sam's chest, causing Sam to stumble backwards. Taking that as his opportunity to escape, Cas hurried down the stairs and out the front door, unable to hold back the heartbroken tears.