Kiss Me, I'm Irish {An Artemis Fowl Fan Fiction}

Prologue

Hey my lovely fans! I know I've been talking about this story for what seems like forever now, and I've finally gotten enough courage (and well, the time) to post it. This is the first Artemis Fowl story I have attempted solo in many years now, so I'm hoping this turns out to be as amazing as I've planned it to be, and of course, far better than my previous attempts.

This story takes place after the events of The Last Guardian, so if you haven't read that far into the series, proceed with caution. There are some spoilers!

Also, as a brief note since a lot of people have mentioned it, I am not an ArtemisxHolly shipper, so you will not witness that in this story. Sorry! It's just not my cup of tea.

As you all know, I take no credit for a good majority of the characters. Most of them belong to Eoin Colfer, the man who inspired me from day one. I hope to do both him, and the series I love so much, some justice. =)

I hope you all enjoy! =)

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Rain pounded against the roof and windows of the Bentley Red Label. To add to the discomfort, rush hour traffic was caught up in road construction. It was enough to drive anyone batty. The bald man driving the vehicle had his eyes focused on the road ahead, never taking his eyes off the road. He was far more patient than the youth in the back of the car. The boy was not happy, far from it.

            On his way home from his final year at St. Bartleby's School for Young Gentlemen, Artemis Fowl the Second was not pleased with the slow ride home. He had awaited the day of his graduation for years now; school was not something that he had particularly been fond of, and he was glad it was finally over. Artemis was ready to get on to the next phases of his life; ones that he hoped were less eventful than the first nearly eighteen years of his life.

            "So," the man driving began, "what are your plans for the summer, Artemis? Anything exciting?"

            "I surely hope not, Butler," Artemis answered, his voice soft and sophisticated. "I don't have anything planned, except to relax and prepare myself for the university come fall."

            "Glad to hear that," Butler admitted. "Your parents will be pleased to have you home again. The twins, too."

            Artemis barely cracked a smile. "Though I am pleased to be heading home, I cannot say I am exactly enthused about our family vacation. As to why we're going to Michigan is beyond me. Although we're staying with family, I don't see how it's any bit a vacation. There is nothing to do in Flint."

            Butler glanced at Artemis in the rear-view mirror. "You'd be surprised about Flint. There's actually a lot to do there: malls, restaurants, museums, theaters. Maybe you'll meet some friends?"

            Artemis rolled his sapphire blue eyes. "Doubtful." Friends were something he was definitely not interested in making.

            "Don't count your chickens before they hatch, Artemis," Butler warned. "You have a lot of opportunities coming your way right now; don't close the doors before you can see what's behind them."

            Artemis mused over the possibility of friends. He had never truly had any, albeit Butler and his few fairy acquaintances. He had always found people his own age to be inferior to himself, and with good reasons. Artemis, having the highest tested IQ in Europe, was far beyond childish acts most nearly eighteen year olds would be committing. Artemis was far beyond pranks, drinking, and drugs. Although his activities were often far from legal, Artemis was on a whole other level. His brains allowed him to manage anything he wanted- everything from school to his crime. And he was determined; a determined Fowl always got what he wanted.

            Upon finally reaching the two hundred acre estate, Artemis knew what was about to unfold- unpacking one bag, only to pack another one to leave for two full weeks. Artemis was highly unsure of the family trip to Flint. Flint was a dangerous town known worldwide for its high homicide and arson rates. The city was legally and socially dead- but it didn't stop some from living there, one of those people was Artemis' uncle, Finnian. His father's brother had moved to the States years ago, hoping to start his own business. He had earned enough money he could've moved back to Ireland to any point, but he stayed in the rich side of Flint. At least he was tucked away safely where most of the riffraff dared not to travel.

            He shook the thought from his mind as he decided to work on something more interesting; Artemis passed the time on the plane by working on a theater piece. Artemis had a knack for rewriting "lost" works. Upon arriving in Flint's Bishop International Airport, Artemis had just finished his latest creation. From the airport was another fifteen minute drive to the Miller Road Mansions where his relatives lived. Artemis snuck into the room he would be staying in without being noticed by his uncle, or any other member of his family. Artemis didn't bother unpacking; he had no need to. Artemis was only ready to sleep.