piano | m.yg

XVI

OCTOBER 2018.

as yoongi locked the door after entering the house, he was met by his mother, standing there with a cup of tea in her hand.

she looked at him with one raised eyebrow, "what are you smiling about?"

he didn't meet her gaze, as he sighs. "you don't need to know."

yoongi's mother scoffs. "you're giving me attitude now? after i had been waiting for you to come home for how long?"

yoongi walked passed her. "i was hoping you'd get used to it by now."

as he was about to walk up the staircase and into his room, he was stopped by his mother's voice.

"i'm so sick of this."

her voice was stern, but sounded distressed. yoongi stopped in his tracks looking over his shoulder. 

"im so sick...of you."

yoongi smirked, chuckling bitterly. "guess the feeling's mutual."

"min yoongi." she spoke with her teeth gritted, as she gripped harder onto the mug she was holding. yoongi had a blank expression.

"after everything i've done for you, your entire life...you still decide to treat me like this? treat your mother like this?" her tone was bitter.

"you know," yoongi turned around to face her. "if you were my mother, you'd let me be happy."

he steps closer to her. "yeah, you're my mother. but you know what? i can't remember the last time you really cared for me."

yoongi scoffs, "i can't even remember the last time you told me you loved me."

yoongi leaves it at that, turning on his heel and running up the stairs to leave his mother's sight. leaving her dumbfounded.

for once, yoongi was really considering leaving his mother's life. she wasn't a real mother to him, she never was. 

seeing her for the next few years of his life would be the last thing he wanted.

if he wants to be happy, he has to sacrifice a few things.
if he wants to be happy, he has to be selfish.

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run, run, run.

yoongi kept running and running, until he felt like he couldn't anymore. he needed to get away from everything, right now.

it didn't matter where he ended up. 

he just wanted to be far away.

rain was pouring down into the busy streets of seoul, as yoongi ran across the sidewalks, bumping into a few people in the process.

but he didn't care.

as he began to lose breath, he slowed down, and entered an alley.

he leaned against the wall, sliding down slowly. he sat there, his head down and breathing heavy.

yoongi realizes he has never been truly happy with his life. every time something good would happen, it would be ruined. everything was a mess that was hard to clean.

he didn't know how to fix it. he didn't know what to do.

tears began to well up in his eyes, sliding down his cheeks one by one, as he buried himself into his knees and sobbed.

he was never a crier. he never cries easily.

he never wanted to accept it, but it's hard not to admit. he's broken, lost. like a child who's lost themselves in a mall, doesn't know where to find his mother.

that's exactly who yoongi was. his mother was never there for him. he doesn't know where she is. 

he's lost.

yoongi runs his hands through his hair in frustration, punching his own head. "idiot, idiot, you fucking idiot."

for his entire life, his mother never cared about his happiness, how he felt about anything.

he was like a robot to her; as if he would do anything she programmed him to do.

no matter how much it hurt, he thought she would change. realize how much her son needed her.

yoongi was sobbing now; the clouds beginning to cry with him as rain fell from the skies.

at this point, he didn't know what to do. he doesn't know what'll happen to him.

he felt like dying, but he was afraid to. but then again, what choice does he have?

his mother was out of his life now. he doesn't have a mother anymore; he doesn't have a family.

he needs someone.

wiping his tears, he tries to bring out his phone from his pocket. with teary eyes, he dials hoseok's number.

putting the phone against his ear, he listens as the phone rings.

ring, ring, ring.

"fuck." yoongi swears under his breath, as the line went to hoseok's voicemail.

he dialed his number again, tapping his foot on the ground.

"please, please." yoongi whispers, as the line rang again.

"sorry, the number you have reached-"

yoongi hung up, sighing out loud.

he didn't know where hoseok was, and he was the only one he thought he needed right now.

he needed someone, anyone, to be there for him and comfort him. help him forget.

yoongi scrolled through his contacts, and his eyes slightly lit up at a certain name.

alex.

without any second thoughts, he clicked on her contact name.

as he put his phone against his ear, the line began to ring and his anticipation grew.

it wasn't long until she picked up the phone.

"hello?"

_____________________

hey, it's been a while.

man, there's been so much going on with my personal life.

everything's a mess, it's always been.

im sorry for making you wait:(

i promise i'll do my best to update as much as possible, despite all the shit going on.

i love you all.