can anybody find me... // hardzello [FINISHED]

i take home

***Trigger Warning: use of the slur f*g and use of queer in a negative connotation***

Ben felt so relieved that Joe was not opposing to go to the fish and chips place. Dorset's Chippy was a huge part of his childhood and teenage years, taking Joe there was sharing part of his life. Ben never thought he was gonna do that, even less to a friend he had known for two weeks. Joe was different though, he had given Ben his trust right at the beginning and Ben didn't quite understand how that happened but he knew it did.

He could even say Joe was helping him recover from Maddie. Sure, he still felt bad about it and it still hit him pretty hard on a specific part of his heart, but with Joe it was much more forgettable, Ben didn't even think about her when he was with him.

While he was walking to the restaurant, he felt something grab his hand. He was expecting it to be Joe, but when he turned, he saw Joe a couple of meters behind him, and familiar brown locks in front of him.

— Hey Ben! I've been thinking...
— What are you doing here?
— I was just walking around and I saw you and I thought...
— What? What did you think? — He was impatient. Not mad, not sad, not angry and not pissed, impatient. — You could just go up and talk to me? I-I don't want to see you.
— But Ben, listen. I thought about us this weekend, I thought about you and I thought that maybe we could go on a proper date. Walk on the park, visit an art gallery, all of those things.

Ben took a step back, looking confused at Maddie. Of course, a part of him wanted to, a part of him wanted to hold on to Maddie and subconsciously to the validation she gave him, but on the other side he thought about how that would be bad for both of them and also about how Maddie treated him. Dumping someone for a valid reason is alright, but giving them hope, leading them in and later ignoring them is just bad. Ben was a fan of casual stuff, on the condition that both people were aware that what was going on was casual, and that was not the case.

Ben was there, frozen and not able to answer when Joe came along.

— Hi, you must be Maddie. I'm Joe.
— Hey — Maddie looked at Joe the same way she had looked at Ben that first day. Player. — Nice to meet you, Joe.
— Save it. I'm just talking to you because I need to ask you to stay away from Ben. You've done enough alright? Thank you for being so nice to me, though.
— Oh my God...
— Beg your pardon?

Maddie turned to Ben, a disgusted look in her eye, forehead wrinkled up and her lips curled in repugnance.

— Is that your boyfriend, Ben?
— What?
— You're a fag!
— Whoa there, what the fuck did you just call me?
— I can't believe you're a queer! Too nice to be straight, I should've known. Don't worry I have nothing against your type, I just don't wanna date one.

Ben was frozen. Joe was too. Maddie, the so nice girl with the dimples, the sweet player she was, calling Ben... those things. Yes, Ben was bi and not ashamed of it at all, but Maddie was in no place to call him either of those things. Ben was completely in shock, when again, Joe stepped forward.

— Maddie, get out. Now.
— Oh come one, you're actually his boyfriend? Don't be so offended, it's just a word.
— Get out of here. — Joe got close to Maddie, looking her straight in the eyes and speaking in a very low, monotone voice — Don't you fucking dare get close to him again, do you hear me?
— Chill out, I'll be going. — She stepped back, still looking in Joe's eyes — But you should stop talking for your boyfriend, he's gonna have to deal with stuff alone at some point.

She turned her back and walked away. Ben was still frozen in place, his eyes were watering a little bit and he felt his lower lip slightly tremble for a second. He could only see Joe's back, heavy breathing and fists closed. His head was down and he muttered "I'm sorry", adjusting his posture and breathing in deep.

— We should get going. I'm sorry I stepped in, this is your life and I shouldn't put my nose on it.
— Thank you. — It came out as a whisper, Ben was about to cry.
— What?
— Thank you. — He broke, tears flowing and a sad smile stamping his face — That was sweet of you, thank you for speaking up for me.
— Um... yeah... — Joe was blushing, rubbing his hands together — No problem, no problem at all. I didn't think she'd be that type of person, but she ended up being so I had to do something. She has no right to say what she said, much less to you.

Ben laughed, the sound mixed with soft sobs, shaking his head with eyes closed. Joe was too kind, he couldn't imagine someone acting like that for him, and there Joe was, doing exactly that. Ben could hug him right now, hug him tight.

And like Joe was reading his mind, he came to Ben's encounter, wrapping his arms under Ben's, hands meeting his shoulders. Ben squeezed his friend by the waist, letting the tears out.

Ben was already feeling better when Joe started to sing softly.

— Got a feeling, I should be doing alright...
— Doing alright...

They chuckled, letting each other go from the hug. Ben still had the tips of his left hand fingers on Joe's waist, almost... almost like he didn't want to let Joe go. Almost like he wanted to hold on to him.

— Now, Ben, you were taking me to the fish and chips place?
— Y-yeah I... I was. It's called Dorset's Chippy.
— We should go, It's 1:12pm already, almost too late for lunch.

When Joe said that, Ben had a brilliant idea. He needed to show Joe another way of living.

— I'm going to break your time, Mazzello. I'll help you let go.
— Wait what?
— Come on!

Ben grabbed Joe's hand, he had to show Joe that time was a place for existing and for living, not a cage he had to stay in or a bomb he had to constantly disarm.

— Ben if it wasn't you...
— But it is!

Ben was sprinting across the streets of London, dragging Joe with him.

Almost like he didn't want to let him go.

Almost like he wanted to hold on to him.

quick reminder that i absolutely condemn every type of behavior that is similar to maddie's in this chapter. homophobia, transfobia, racism, sexism, ableism, classism, fatphobia, islamophobia and anything of sorts is disgusting and a violation to the human rights. please don't ever use slurs if you're not part of the community targeted for that slur, and i strongly advise you (even if you're part of the community that's targeted by it) not to use any slur if it's not for the purpose of reclaiming. it's going to hurt you and others, so be responsible with your language ok? i chose the things that maddie said basing on things i've heard myself, and i know how hurtful it is so please don't run your mouth about those things, especially if you don't understand the meaning they possess.

MOVING ON

oof this is getting spicy my darlings! i want them to be together but i want it to happen the right way, i don't want rushing and i want the love to build up! anyways i hope you liked it.