can anybody find me... // hardzello [FINISHED]

my hard-earned pay

Ben wasn't gonna lie: part of why he wanted to take Joe for a walk and not go directly was because he needed to take Maddie away from his mind, which would be very selfish if another part of why Ben was doing that was to help Joe live a little. So he was just being a little selfish. He felt kind of bad, but hey, it was going to help both of them, no reason to feel all horrible!

— Ben, where are you taking me?

Ben laughed and ran even more, because frankly he didn't know exactly where he was taking Joe, he just knew he had to take him somewhere.

— I don't really know!
— You're insane, did you know that?
— Absolutely!

They were running in the streets of the City of London (the neighborhood, where you can find St. Paul's Cathedral) and Ben decided to take Joe to Blackwell's Bookshop, a chain of bookstore that Ben was a fan of.

— We should get in. It's a nice bookstore and we have time.
— Nice maybe, but we don't have time.
— We do, we'll always have!
— That is not..
— Just shut up, let's get in!

Inside the bookstore, Ben just let Joe wander around the shelves and check the covers. Clearly he was uncomfortable, checking his watch every minute, but Ben could see that he was trying not to worry that much. In a matter of five minutes, Ben noticed that Joe was feeling incredibly anxious, so he grabbed Joe's hand again — why did he keep doing that? Joe could walk alone and he knew — and took him out of the store.

— Joe...
— Y-yeah? W-what... what's up?
— Do you want to go have lunch? it's 1:46pm, we have time still.
— Yeah that- no. You know what Ben, I don't. Help me let go, please?

Ben smirked, Joe wanted to be free, and he trusted Ben to help him be it.

— Absolutely, let's go.
— Where to?
— London Bridge, take some pictures!
— Ben, it's cloudy and cold. I don't think we'll get many good pictures.
— You mean we'll get pictures with classic London weather! Have you ever been to London Bridge anyway?
— Not actually.
— It's rather beautiful when the sun is setting, but we're not quite there yet. It's also a bit far, so we should get the bus.
— Like the red ones? — Joe seemed very excited about that — With two floors?
— Those exactly, my fellow American.
— Ben you're not a fellow American.
— It doesn't matter, let's go catch the bus!

And so once again they were sprinting through the streets, heading to a bus stop way more excitingly than normal people would be if they were about to catch the bus.

Ben wouldn't let Joe's hand go, he wasn't exactly sure why but he felt like it. It was probably because he was making a new friend and, that was embarrassing but honestly, it had been years since Ben has made a new friend. It was a bit confusing to him, he didn't know how to act when someone new started growing closer to him, he was just hoping he wasn't doing anything wrong. Joe didn't seem weirded out so he was probably doing fine.

Once they hopped on the bus, Ben could only notice the gleam look on Joe's eyes, all of the excitement of going to the second level of the bus and the little giggles he'd slip in between looks.

"He looks cute when he's excited."

Ben had to stop for a second after the intrusive thought appeared. He thought about Joe being cute, but it could be in a friendly way right? Girls do it all the time, he was just being normal and not suppressing feelings and letting toxic masculinity take over. Absolutely nothing apart from that.

Although... although he could see Joe as being cute in a non-friendly way. It's not like he was doing that but he could you know, Joe was like one of those people who Ben knew he could be falling for, but he actually wouldn't. Why would he? Joe was amazing but he probably would never think of Ben that way, and if he ever did it would be so easy for Ben to push him away.