can anybody find me... // hardzello [FINISHED]

lord, somebody, ooh somebody! can anybody find me... somebody to love

Ben found the building joe described: beige and black, not big with a metal bar gate and the name of the people who lived there beside the "doorbells". He pressed the scribbled "joseph mazzello" button and waited for a response. No answer, he pressed again. No answer. He pressed once more.

— Joe, it's Ben, please pick it up! I need to talk to you!
— Get in.

That was the only thing he said, and so the gate opened. Ben took a look at the apartment number and quickly got in the building. On the lift Ben kept thinking about what he was going to say and nothing came to his mind, he was so nervous that it would all spiral and go terribly wrong.

When the lift stopped, Ben just stood in front of it, not knowing what to do. The lift opened right in Joe's house, so he couldn't exactly escape at that point, so he just looked at the empty living room/kitchen. it had nothing but a carpet floor, and Ben felt a weird comfort. He stepped in further and called Joe shyly. No answer, again.

— P-please.
— I'm in my room, you can come in.

Ben took slow steps, he wished everything would go right but there was no way to know. Joe could say he wasn't interested in Ben like that, or that he liked Ben but was scared or that he got confused and there were so many possibilities that Ben was sweating just by thinking of it.

He knocked on what he assumed it was Joe's door.

— That's the closet. — He heard from the door opposite to him — I'm here.

He turned to knock on Joe's actual door but he opened it first.

— Hey...
— Joe I-
— Wait, get inside, let's sit. I don't have an actual bed but the mattress is pretty comfy, I swear.
— Alright.

When they sat down, Joe was sitting cross-legged and Ben had bent one of his legs and stretched the other outside of the bed. He had to say, the mattress was pretty comfortable, but not even that could take his mind off of what he was going to say. They started talking at the same time, rambling over each other.

— Ben, I'm sorry I-
— Joe I apologize for-

They laughed awkwardly, but it took a little bit of the pressure away. Joe breathed in deeply and let it out slowly.

— Lemme start this. I'm so sorry that I didn't talk to you. I completely backed off and it was inconsiderate and I really couldn't help it but still I feel really bad if I came across as inconsiderate. You are so amazing and honestly I don't know how to deal with someone so incredible caring so much about me. I can't...
— Joe?
— Yes?
— Can I say some things? I do appreciate everything your telling me right now but I feel like you'll feel less guilty about everything that happened. Is that alright?

He nodded, pulling his legs to his chest and hugging his knees.

He was going to start to say something, but then he realized he needed something to calm Joe down, so he put Somebody To Love — Joe's favorite Queen song — on his phone

Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet

— Joe, I'm sorry I was a pushover.

(Take a look at yourself in the mirror and cry)
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me

— I'm sorry if I confused things.

I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief, Lord

— I'm sorry I made you believe I only wanted you for the rebound.