Gunita [EDITING]

diez

"Don't force yourself, Chen," I said as the stylist fixes her hair into perfection. Ngumiti lang ulit siya, but her eyes said otherwise as she looks at herself directly unto the mirror in front of her. I could see pain... anger, and even the desperation to escape this life that was given to us.

"Will something change if I won't?" she asked. And then it struck me kasi totoo naman, wala kaming magagawa.

I sighed.

Both of us—sobrang lost naming pareho.

I knew how hard this is for Chen. She's always been the free-spirited one. I can't even help myself to think na sobrang useless ko bilang kaibigan at pinsan niya, when all she ever did every time I was so down because of our family, was to cheer me up with random stories just to make me smile.

Tapos ngayon... wala akong magawa. Pareho kaming walang magawa, na kahit sabihin man namin na ayaw namin—what else can we do when other people's lives are at stake?

And even though we try not be scared... nightmares, constant nightmares just keep on visiting us.

And, I can't even believe that they only used Dash to threaten Chen to marry Ali. Kasi alam nila that they can't make her marry him unless they do something against her will, but still even if she's not glad—she'd oblige.

God... I know it sounds stupid but at the same time smart.

What else can I say? They're not the sick rulers of this country if they're not too smart to use their brains. Too smart that they just keep on brainwashing every citizen of this nation. Na parang walang baho na nakatago sa kanila... na parang walang dugong dumanak para lang maprotektahan nila ang gusto nilang protektahan.

Yet, I still can't even imagine how they could even wear such big smiles after hurting Chen. Na behind those smiles, may umiiyak na pala, nagmamakaawa ng kalayaan... pagmamahal.

Patas na mundo.

How heartless.

Siguro nga sa panahong ito... isang biro na lang kapag gusto mong lumaban para sa karapatan mo dahil ultimo sariling bansa, hindi na rin kayang ipaglaban. Na parang dayuhan ka na lang din sa bayang pagmamay-ari mo naman.

"Alam mo kung ako sa'yo, lalayas na lang ako," the stylist said out of the blue, and I could even sense the hint of sadness in her tone. Natawa na lang kami pareho ni Chen.

If only it's as easy as that. E 'di sana ginawa na naming dalawa. Okay pa no'ng mga bata kami—hindi pa kami mulat sa mga nangyayari sa paligid namin, we were just too innocent to know what's going on.

Pero ngayon... sabi nga nila, kapag namulat ka na, kasalanan na ang pumikit.

Ah, maybe that's why people keep on telling me that being kind's sinful too... siguro kasi sinusubukan kong pumikit kahit kailangan kong maging mulat. I keep on trying to move an inch further away from them, not even realizing that I can do nothing else but stay.

Because they'll just keep on doing things to push me away... but pull me back whenever I try to run.

Sobrang... daya.

After Chen' hair was fixed, dumiretso muna kami sa living room ng presidential suite. I couldn't help but to applaud our families with mockery... they really did prepare everything behind Chen's back—even the date of the Wedding was already set which was only a month away!

They really didn't want her to run anywhere anymore. Walang kawala. They literally just gave her free lifetime tickets to hell.

No, it's not a joke.