Gunita [EDITING]

treinta y cuatro

We all fell into silence. Nagkatinginan lang kami ni Chen habang naghihintayan kaming lahat na may magsalita. Too silent that we could almost hear Ali's heart breaking...

"Will we be able to meet them?"

"We'll arrange the schedule. Don't worry, you're all protected."

"Thank you," Ali said before ending the call. He was playing with his phone with both of his hands... hanggang sa napatingin siya sa'min, nakangiti.

"You heard that? They killed my mom." His voice started to crack, but he was still smiling. Tears started to fall from his eyes but he remained silent... biting his lower lip to stop himself from sobbing. Niyakap naman siya ni Chen.

I chewed on my thumb—I wasn't really sure how I'd react. I knew at some point that Ali could've had an idea that that's what really happened—pero ang sakit pa rin palang marinig 'yun mismo sa iba.

Sometimes, the truth hurts the most when you hear it from others.

"I'll never forgive them..." he uttered. "I'll have to eliminate them all."

Ilang minuto rin kaming binalot ng katahimikan—I couldn't even think of the right words to say to them. Parang mental block na lang nang biglaan... minsan kapag sobrang affecting talaga sa emotional state rin ng taong malapit sa'yo, biglang hindi mo alam kung pa'no i-approach 'yung problem because you're trying to weigh words... and their emotional capacity... it gets harder the more you try it.

"It'd be really hard to figure out how to hack into their intel... but we'll try to find ways," Ali said, wiping his face, and then smiling at us. "Matatapos na'to... konti na lang."

The atmosphere was too heavy and gloomy, pero buti na lang nandito si Phoebe para pagaanin 'yung nararamdaman namin—lalo ni Ali... God, I really hope she doesn't get to witness everything that's happening right now when she gets old. All I want right now is for them to be free, without any cost... because that's the real freedom that we all should have.

That's what they deserve.

That's what we'll work hard for...

Chen cooked Kare-kare kaya do'n na rin kami kumain. We were all laughing as Chen feeds Phoebe. Ang kulit-kulit na rin kasi! Grabe, sobrang surreal ding makita at makasama 'yung batang 'to. During medschool hanggang sa maka-graduate kasi ako lagi na lang na sa phone ko siya nakikita. Tapos sobrang busy pa kaya super dalang din na nakakapag-video call kami. Hanapan ng time na lang talaga minsan.

Ayaw ko rin namang walang kinakausap si Chen... sobrang dami na rin niyang pinagdaanan looking back. I was just glad Ali didn't turn out like the douchebag we thought he was... He was even encouraging Chen to study forensic pathology again, pero sabi naman niya kapag okay na lang daw ang lahat.

The dinner went well, although we were really trying our best to avoid a serious topic. Kahit two years old pa lang kasi 'yung bata, ayaw naman din naming makita niya na malungkot kami, or maramdaman niyang may negative energy. That's the least we can do to kids kasi—to stop inducing them traumas, or negative memories. Most of us didn't really grow up in a nice environment because they were all either busy with their businesses, or just plain dumbasses who didn't know how to care for a child—so we already know how it feels, and we don't want her to grow up in an environment such as that.

It's very horrifying, honestly. It'd feel like the negative aura will always be there to linger because you just grew up with it.

"Gusto mo ng soda and chips after this?" Chen asked as we wash the dishes. Sila Uno naman na 'yung nag-ayos ng lamesa at naglinis ng kalat ni Phoebe. "Couldn't stock up on liquors kasi alam mo na... there's the kid." We chuckled.