Gunita [EDITING]

veintiuno

I wrinkled my nose, trying to check if this was even my reality, or if I was just dreaming about him... I get dreams every night, I wasn't even sure if those were pieces of my augmented reality or something I'd never really want to happen in real life.

I sighed.

"What are you doing?"

I bit my lower lip. Pakiramdam ko bigla akong nahiya dahil mukha akong tanga na kinukurot ang sarili... "I just... I just didn't know how to compare my reality with the augmented one already. Masyado na kasing nightmare-ish, alam mo 'yun?" I tried to laugh, but I knew Uno could see through them how fake they were. Natahimik na lang ako nang maramdaman kong nakatitig lang sa'kin si Uno.

Nagulat na lang tuloy ako nang bigla niyang pinitik ang noo ko, "Problema mo na naman?!" Hindi siya sumagot, pero ginulo niya lang ang buhok ko bago naglabas ng wet wipes mula sa bulsa niya. Napaangat naman 'yung kanang kilay ko habang nakatitig lang sa hawak-hawak niya.

"Wipe your face. Mukha kang timang," sambit ni Uno.

"Ba't ka may wet wipes sa bulsa mo?" I asked, laughing softly. Ang cute lang kasi. I never pegged him as the guy who'd bring wet wipes with him everywhere... tapos bigla na lang siyang mamimigay ng wet wipes out of nowhere.

"Hygiene," he replied, shortly. Siningkitan ko na lang siya ng mata, kaya napansin ko na ring medyo nainis na siya sa inaakto ko. I laughed and brought out one ply before jokingly throwing it at his face. "Brandi!"

I stuck out my tongue, "Just tell me you brought it for me!" I said, teasing him. Uno clicked his tongue, putting his hands inside the pockets of his slacks, still remaining silent. I just knew he's pissed.

Okay... maybe I've gone too far with my jokes. Half-jokes... probably. Ewan ko na talaga.

Asa ko naman kasi na concerned talaga siya sa'kin—for all I know, siguro pakiramdam niya excess baggage lang talaga ako na pinapabitbit sa kaniya ni Lolo at ni Daddy. I can't... I just can't think of anything beyond that line anymore. Masiyadong heavy... lalo't alam ko na rin naman sa sarili ko 'yung totoo... na gusto ko siya, pero ang hirap lang talaga...

Kasi dapat kalimutan ko na lang.

Wala naman kasi talagang patutunguhan. 'Yun na lang ang lagi kong pinapaalala sa sarili ko. Masiyadong complicated lahat ng mga bagay-bagay sa paligid naming para itulak ko pa ang sarili ko sa kaniya.

Okay na lang ako sa ganito. 'Yung malapit kami... kahit malayo talaga siya sa'kin, basta nandito siya.

Hanggang do'n lang.

"Sorry..." sambit ko at ngumiti. Iniangat ko nang bahagya 'yung wet wipes, "Thank you... balik na'ko sa room ko." I turned my back away from him at nagsimula ng maglakad palayo sa kaniya... kaso, hindi pa nga ako nakakalayo, nagulat na lang ako nang bigla niya akong hilahin palapit sa kaniya.

"Stop it," he whispered, looking straightly unto my eyes as if hypnotizing me with his glares. "Stop this. Stop it, Brandi."

"Stop what?" I answered, almost wanting to congratulate myself for keeping everything inside of me kahit pakiramdam ko sasabog na'ko sa halo-halong emosyong nararamdaman ko.

I was... too close to him.

Too close to make my heart ache... a different one.

Too close to make my heart flutter...

Too close to almost suffocate me with the intensity of his stares.

"Stop... stop making it hard for me, please," he uttered, his voice almost pleading.