Gunita [EDITING]

cuarenta y dos

I was not as cold-hearted as they are, so I could not just leave my Lolo clutching his chest like that... I still care for him after all. But still, hindi ko rin masikmura na harapin siya kaya ipinaubaya ko na lang sa nurse niya. As far as I know, wala rin namang history ng heart ailment si Lolo, but he's getting older and weaker.

Still, I'm firm with that—they do not deserve an easy death... kasi no'ng muntikan na'kong mamatay, nasa'n sila? I asked for help many times, and all they did to me is let me suffer in silence.

They had me jailed in my own home for two years... just when they thought it was enough for me to recuperate for what Fallon did to me.

I lost two years to fight for myself. Another four because we weren't just scared to fight—we didn't have enough hope. Only few people had the motivation to stand against them, and I was still scared...

Pero ngayon ayaw ko nang matakot.

Kasi kung matatakot lang ako habambuhay, nasaan ang hustisya ro'n? Nasaan ang kalayaan do'n? Hahayaan ko na lang ba na bilhin nila nang bilhin 'yung kalayaan ko para lang matahimik ako?

I'm not their puppet anymore.

I'm not anyone's puppet anymore.

Tahimik akong lumabas at dumiretso sa parking lot bago hinayaan ang sarili kong pagmasdan lang ang lawak ng paligid. Everything in this place screamed golds, marbles, and diamonds... and all that, I can't believe, were from that position they've always protected, and trying to protect—in exchange with the lives of those who try to intervene with their plans.

Our lives that they continuously manipulated.

Maraming naghirap, pero sila nagpapakasasa lang sa yaman... I could not help but blame myself for all of these, too. Kasi hinayaan ko rin sila kahit may karapatan akong lumaban. I still had the privilege even if I was being a puppet, and maybe at some point I just liked how I lived... I could buy every LV and Chanel bags in just one shopping with my black card, and still—I won't be out of money.

I had the privilege so I went with the current, not against it... hanggang sa agos na lang nang agos at hindi ko na kayang patigilin.

Hanggang sa nalunod na lang din ako.

"Ma'am?" Gio uttered at lumapit sa'kin.

"I'll take a walk for a while... Five minutes lang."

He nodded.

I let myself wander around. Malawak ang garden nila Lolo, but I've always been here when I was a kid... no'ng hindi ko pa alam na sa ganito hahantong ang lahat. I sat down at one of the benches and watch the gardeners water the plants and trim them a little. Chen and I loved staying at this place when we were little, and play with the sprinklers around the area.

I laughed at that memory I'll always bring with me—no'ng okay pa ang lahat. Wala pa'kong muwang. Lolo will play with us when he has the time—back then he was just serving as a Mayor. Our family was really politically inclined... they loved the power so much that in the end—these powers can lead to the destruction of the family they built.

Sayang... kung sana hindi sila nabulag sa kapangyarihan.

I stayed there for a couple of minutes bago bumalik sa parking lot, pero nagulat ako nang makita ko 'yung itim na Hiace na napapalibutan din ng security detail.

"Brianna!" I nodded at the Vice President's wife at nakipagbeso. Napalingon naman ako kay Tito Dante, the current VP na may kausap sa telepono—nakakunot ang noo. "You gave your Lolo a visit despite a tight schedule? What a very nice apo naman talaga..."