Gunita [EDITING]

uno

Smile, Brandi.

Show them you're okay.

The flashes of cameras were blinding as I walk down the podium after my speech. Ang sakit na ng panga ko kakangiti, but I had to endure it all not unless I wanted to be in the tabloids just like a cousin of mine who was reported for his temper. He's probably getting an earful from my uncles already—when our families get involved in scandals it also meant getting a lower trust rate from the public.

The occasion was supposed to be private—it was our graduation for Pete's sake, but Lolo, my dear Lolo, found it as an opportunity to show himself in front of the cameras as the humble Vice President of the Philippines since he's attending his granddaughter's graduation. Whether it was just for publicity or whatnot, I was still glad though... I understand the intention naman, and I was a little less lonely since someone with my blood was here. I didn't want to be lonely just because my Dad couldn't show up. I know he has reasons but I'm still a daughter expecting her dad to come... it's probably valid to feel this way.

"Congratulations, apo," he says like the proud grandfather he is and pulled me for a hug followed by more flashes of cameras. He's probably boasting about my general weighted average to his cabinet members during their dinners when I told him I was the valedictorian for this year, and I was the first valedictorian in my degree program in Medical Technology. He's probably that proud after tons of tabloids talking ill about some of my cousins from the Jerardos. Ewan ko ba kung sa'n nila nakukuha 'yung guts to become sensational image-wreckers. I can't even find it in me to do what I want without their approval.

Because it's easier for them to instill fear.

"What's next after you graduate? Will you take the boards early?" I shrugged. Hindi ko talaga alam kung ano'ng plano ko after this. I know how angry my classmates are after I was declared the valedictorian. I was homeschooled for two years, but I attended classes with them online! I even took my examinations synchronous with them and had a proctor by my side. I didn't cheat my way to where I am now... I was just caged.

And I didn't know how to explain it that way without getting scared.

"I'm still thinking about it po," I uttered politely. "Will you not be mad, Lo, if I take Medschool?

Lolo sighed—probably disappointed—because it has always been expected for us to take after them, "Well I can't force it on you to take Law school, anyway. Just do what you want to do."

For them it's either we become politicians or lawyers.

I didn't want that.

I smiled.

A few minutes after being recognized, Lolo decided to leave the occasion, so he was escorted by his guards at sumama rin 'yung stepmother ko. I wanted to walk him outside, but he refused since disrespectful daw and he didn't want to bother the graduation anymore. 'Di niya lang alam sobrang stressed ng organizers nang malaman na pupunta pala si Lolo kaya inayos talaga nila 'yung venue.

Pagkatapos ng graduation, ang dami pa ring media outlets sa labas kaya sumasakit na 'yung ulo ko kasi kaliwa't kanan 'yung interviews. Tapos mababasa ko lang naman sa Facebook na wala silang pakealam sa buhay ko.

"Brandi," Anna called when the journalists finally left and handed me a box of a limited-edition bag that I have been eyeing ever since Anna decided to let go of me after two years of manipulation and threats.

Funny how I can just laugh over it. Defense mechanism siguro.

"Happy?" Dad asks when he called through the phone.