I Cant Fight This Feeling Anymore (Destiel) (Completed)

I only wish I had the strength to let it show

21 February 2017
Dean woke to the warmth of another body next to his, he opened his eyes to find the back of Cas' head. They were spooning, Dean had never really cuddled, even with women, but this felt good, it was comforting and warm and everything just felt calm. That is until Sam burst in and immediately turned his back to the boys.
"CHUCK ALMIGHTY, WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING"
Dean grunted, he was barely awake, and pulled Cas even closer to himself.
"Maybe you should knock next time" Cas smiled over at Sam.
"Ill be back in 10, don't make me see this again please"
Dean grumbled a yes and Sam left. Cas turned over and kissed Dean on the forehead before slowly rolling out of bed.
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At 9:00 the boys filed into the impala and head back home, Cas' wounds were healing well, but he was fatigued and slept most of the journey, leaving Sam and Dean to talk.
"So?"
"What?"
"So how was it?"
"How was what?"
"Come on Dean, how was it?"
"oh- oh no, we didn't- we just slept, thats all. Cas was in no shape for that and I dont want to rush things here"
"What? Is this still Dean talking? What happened to Sex first, Adiós Later?"
Dean glared over at Sam.
"It's not like that with Cas, I really like him and I dont want to mess it up"
"Mhmm" Sam looked over suspicously at Dean
"You sure your not just scared, ya big sissy?"
"Hey!....Ok maybe a little.... Well it's all new to me and ya know...... He's still a virgin and-"
"Ok you can leave it there, I get the jist"
"Well you were the one who asked"
The drove the rest of the way talking about normal stuff, and then when Cas woke the both went silent.
"Hello"
"How did you sleep last night?" Sam asked while watching Dean go red.
"Um- Well, thankyou"
"Mhmm, I bet"
"Sammy leave it"
"Fine"
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When they got to the bunker Sammy went to put the grocerys away (they had stopped on the way home) which left Cas and Dean together in the Library. Dean sat down and patted the seet next to him, bekoning Cas to join him.
"We need to talk"
"I know Dean- It was a spur of the moment thing, you were confused about your sexuality, and probably a bit tipsy. I wont get any ideas"
"Oh, yeah, right" Dean desperately wanted to pull Cas in and tell him what he felt but he wasn't strong enough to let his feelings show.
Cas upped and left for his room.

"Sammy, I don't know what to do" Sam had joined Dean with beers in the library, to find his with his head in his hands, obviously in distress.
"Well..... Just tell him how you feel"
"I can't"
"And why not?"
"Because he thought it was a one time thing"
"So?"
"What if that means he doesn't feel the same way?"
"Dean" Sam stopped and glared at him "Why would he have kissed you back, if he doesn't like you?"
"Well-"
Sam got up and walked off "Stop being stupid" he called.
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"Cas?" Dean knocked on Cas' door, again, and got no response, again.
"Cas, we need to talk" Dean pushed the door open a bit and found Cas asleep in his bed, he had been crying-a lot- as his face was streaked with tears and red as a tomato. 'This cant have been me can it, I mean he was the one who said it was a mistake' Dean thought, and then realised 'wait, he didn't say it was a mistake, he said it was spur of the moment. YOU IDIOT. You didn't even listen properly, you should have told him!!
Cas squirmed and opened his eyes. The second he saw Dean he wiped furiously at his eyes with his trench coat sleeve.
"Hello Dean" his voice broke but he cleared his voice and spoke again.
"Hello, Dean...."
"Oh Cas..."
Dean lunged toward Cas and wrapped him up in his arms. Cas nuzzled his face into Dean's shoulder and muttered something inaudible.
"Im so sorry I made you feel this way, I lied Cas. It wasn't spur of the moment. I meant what I said in that motel room Cas. I have feelings for you, and they are new and scary..... And exciting. I want to be with you Cas. I want you to be my only love. I want you to be my first boyfriend. I want you to be my first... Lots of things." It all came rushing out of Dean and he couldn't stop himself.
Cas nuzzled further into Dean as a response, and hugged him tighter.
They stayed like this for what seemed like hours, and when they finally pulled apart they gazed at each other, sky blue on hazel green, like they were each a new person.
Finally Dean spoke,
"We're gonna have to get you some new clothes Cas, and some shower stuff, and more food. In fact why don't we go shopping. Just the two of us."
"That sounds nice" Cas smiled and squeezed Dean's hand before stepping back. "I need a shower first though, i'm still getting used to the whole smelling thing"
"Ok, I'll wait for you"
"Ok, just one question; how do you turn the shower on? And what do I use for my hair? And how much of myself-"
"Ill stop you there buddy, you know what, it's late, we can shop tommorow, how's about I run you a bath instead?"
"A bath?"
"Yeha, it's easier to get your head around, you just sit in the stuff, and it cleans for you"
"Sounds much easier, why dont you bath aswell?"
Dean blushed, he wasn't sure If Cas was asking that they bath together.
"I- I'll just get the water running" He said, and scampered off to the bathroom.
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"It's ready Cas" Dean called from the bathroom.
"Comin', hold on"
When Cas opened the bathroom door, nothing could have prepared him for what he saw.
"Dean" Cas breathed.
"Hello Cas, I thought I would join you" Dean grinned.
He had set up the bathroom with candles dotted around, and champagne in a ice bucket next to the bath. The light was off and so there was a soft glow from the candles, lighting the whole room. In the bath sat Dean, obviously naked, leaning against the back of the tub.
'FUCK, what do I do, he looks so sexy, AND NAKED, and waiting for ME. Right, remain calm.'
Cas realised he must have not looked very calm because Dean's sexy smile turned into a concerned frown. Cas couldn't leave Deans beautiful face contorted like this so he did the only thing he could think of that would console Dean.
He started at his trench coat, he threw it to the side and started unbuttoning his shirt, by the time he got to his belt Dean was already smiling again. He was down to his boxers now, and terrified all of a sudden, but Dean, seeing his hesitation, grinned and reached out to Cas. He stoked along the waistband of his boxers and tugged downwards a little. Cas let him. Dean tugged a little harder and the suddenly they were around Cas' ankles. He stepped out of them and kicked them off to the pile of his other clothes. Dean had been watching Cas' eyes until now, he slowly swept his eyes all the way down Cas' body and smirked -in a good way- when he reached Cas' crotch.
'That looks like a good sign' Cas thought as eased up a bit. He stepped into the tub, and was greeted by the warmth of both Dean's body and the water as he lowered himself into the bath.
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As Cas lowered his body into the bath, his back to Dean, he noticed the gashes he had previously had on his back still hadn't fully healed. They were still red and looked like they hurt a lot. He decided not to mention it to Cas as he obviously wasn't bothered by them.
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Cas was leaning against Dean's beautiful naked body and laying his head back onto his shoulder. Dean wound his legs around Cas' body and poured some champagne. Cas took his glass and they both sat and soaked together. After about half an hour there was a knock at the bathroom door.
"Dont come in!" they both said at the same time.
They heard Sam laugh hysterically from the other side of the door and then he said "I dont even want to know what you are doing in there"
"What do you want anyway?" Dean said and there was no response as Sammy had started laughing again.
"Is there even a point to this visit Sam?" Cas tried.
Sam slowly regained his calm and said "I think I found us a case"
"Sammy its half nine cant you give it a rest?" As Dean spoke Cas could feel slight vibrations from his body.
"For tommorow obviously"
"Well we're busy tommorow Sammy, sorry" Dean said.
Cas had stayed silent for most of this conversation but at this he chirped up.
"Me and Dean are going out" He smiled and leant back into Dean, who smiled back and laughed faintly.
"What, on a date?"
"Well, its more, necessity than pleasure but yeah, kinda"
Sam made a happy grunt of sorts and started walking off. "Ill leave you two love birds to it then"
"Come on, we'd better go now" Dean grinned and reached for Cas' hand to help in out of the bath.
"I really enjoyed that Dean"
Dean leant in at Cas' ear and whipered seductively.
"Me too, and now I now I know what to expect when it comes to the bedroom department" he pulled away and winked at Cas.
Cas blushed "Me too" he said and patted Dean on the ass.

They left the bathroom and Dean gave Cas a large T-shirt to sleep in. They got into bed and pressed their bodies together in a tangled mess of affection. 'is this what love feels like?'  Cas thought.