BONDS • k. hatake

•30•

My eyes widened as I was delivered the news. Shikamaru was the one who told me, I just stood there.

His pained expression snapped me out of my daze. My eyes softened and pulled him into a hug.

He didn't expect it, since he wasn't one to do these thing.

"It's not your fault." I whispered. His arms tightened around my waist.

"I...I'm sorry." He whispered. I pulled away.

"Listen to me, we don't have time to blame ourselves. That clouds judgement and prevents us from doing our best. We can't have that, especially from this generations genius." I smile sadly. I patted his shoulder before he walked back to his house.

Immediately, I ran to Kurenai's house.

I knocked.

She opened it. Her eyes were puffy, though she tried to hide it.

I pulled her into a hug and she broke in my arms.

I tried to soothe her but I knew I could do nothing, she was in pain.

------

"Kurenai." I said sternly. "You just lost the love of your life, the father of your child. You need a break, you're not in the state to take care of Mirai. Shikamaru, Choji and Ino are coming over. I will take Mirai to my apartment, she will be safe."

A tear rolled down her face, but she nodded kissing Mirais forehead.

"I know. It hurts, but you'll be okay." I gave her a hug before I opened the door to see the three ninja.

"Take care of her. You all are so strong, you'll be okay." Ino nodded sadly before I walked out with the backpack of Mirai's things.

I held her against my chest as she sucked on a pacifier and her red eyes looked around the streets.

My eyes were heavy, emotionless.

Asuma was dead.

Asuma was dead.

Because of the Akatsuki. Because they wanted information on me.

I felt tears fight their way to my eyes but I pushed them back. I looked at Mirai, her sleeping figure.

She's still so innocent. This world has to take that away from her now?

I pushed the negative thoughts out of my head before I rushed home.

------

I sat at the small kitchen table, dozens of medical charts and reports to fill out.

I had coffee by my side and my glasses on, Mirai was sleeping in her little bassinet beside me.

I sighed.

This war.. it's going to bring so much pain, so much heartache and heartbreak to everyone.

And it'll be my fault.

All. My. Fault.

Tears brimmed my eyes.

I didn't want this, I didn't like this.

I grabbed a scrap piece of papers and writing a note down.

"I'll make this right, I will be back.
I'd didn't leave, I need to do this. I can't handle loosing people, not anymore-"
I stopped writing as my eyes adverted to my ring on my hand.

He would look day and night for me, he would stress himself over me and I can't do that to him.

I already put him through too much.

------

I tied my hair into a sleek bun.

My black dress hung from my figure, today was it.

Asumas funeral.

I avoided everyone for a bit. They needed time to grieve.

They still do.

I slipped on some black heels and put my keys in my purse.

The gloomy skies all over Konohagakure.

"Even the heavens weep for you, Asuma nee-san." I whispered.

I walked down the stairs onto the streets, it was calm today.

People were mourning the death of the third hokage's younger son.

As the ceremony started, I stood in the back. Away from his close friends and his family.

My heart broke, hearing the muffled sobs of Kurenai and Mirai's high pitched cries.

"I didn't expect to outlive my youngest son, but here I am." The third hokage started. "Asuma gave up his life for his fellow comrade and friends, he fought for this village and it impacted greatly on us. He is a hero and always will be.

We are saddened to know he has left us this early. Leaving behind the mother of his child and his young daughter, as well as his family and close friends.

He will be remembered as a hero. Now and in future generations."

Slowly, we were given flowers to put upon his grave.

I was last, I wanted to talk to him without anyone lurking around.

I walked up, my heels patting along the dirt floor.

I placed the flower on top.

"You baka.." I mumbled, my fingertips softly tracing over his casket. "You should've just gave them what they wanted, the information.. they would've let you alone." I said.

Tears welled up in my eyes.

"Then you would've seen Mirai grow up, you would've gotten married to Kurenai at the small price of my life.." I sighed sadly. "I hate that you protected me, I hate that I'm the cause of this... but.. I promise to avenge you. Alone. So that no one else will die." My tears dropped on his casket.

I wiped them away and composed myself.

"Goodbye, nee-san.."

------

I stood at the grave of my best friend.

"I lost someone else.. dammit." I sighed, I looked up, letting the tears fall.

"I promised myself that you and Itachi would be the last, I... but... I jinxed it." I bit the inside of my cheek, "killed by the same people, and corrupted by the same man. People hate when I'm happy." I scoffed.

Standing there in sIlene, until a voice spoke.

"I haven't seen you in 3 weeks.." kakashis voice rang.

"We're both busy. Preparing for the war." My back was turns to him. I couldn't care to face him.

"Would you at least look at me?" He said. I wiped away my tears before turning to him.

"Hi." I whisper. His face softened at my messy face. "Are you okay? I'm sure you're in pain." I said. I walked up to him, taking his hands into mine.

"Asuma was a great ninja..." he said.

"He was."

"A even better friend.."

"Yeah." His taller figure leaned over me. His face in conflict emotions. "What?"

"Nothing.. lets go to my apartment." I nodded before he walked away, hand in hand