HER

CHAPTER 1 The girl next door (MARINA)

This chapter is dedicated to oskar-black  who created the gorgeous cover.

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I first met her in the Summer of 1962. You could say it started out with a look. It was those eyes... those damn eyes, I could never escape them. I could feel them burn into my skin, my pulse would quicken and my cheeks would grow warm. When I looked back she was always gone.

My husband and I had moved into the house across from her. It was everything a wife could wish for. White picket fence, gorgeous green grass and the house itself had five bedrooms. Talk about excessive.

But my God she was charming, a vintage beauty you could say. As I cleaned the dusty windows I found myself humming as I stared intently at her. Her hair was glossy in the sun, her body pale and relaxed. She caught my eye for just a moment and I felt... safe.

Then I heard him shout my name, the bubble had burst. I was back to reality.

As we unpacked I thought about how this time it might be different, that this time would be perfect. But I knew deep down that that would never happen.

It had gone past eleven when he stumbled home in a drunken stupor. He leered at me as he spoke.

"Who was that whore outside?! Disgusting! Displaying her body like that, for everyone to see". I looked up in protest but found myself jerking my head to nod in agreement. Tears pricked in my eyes. Why was I always so fucking weak.

That night he hurt me.

Again.

I tried to move off the tiled floor, my head throbbing, my limbs stiff and tight with pain. I crawled to the medicine cabinet, gripping the sink for balance. Blood dripped off my face and into the startling white basin. Taking a fistful of painkillers to calm myself down I finally grabbed a cloth to scrub away the filth. After a few hours the pain went away but the bruises remained.

I was ashamed of it, of HIM. But I could never leave him. I knew it was awful to think such things. But who would want me? Or support me like he had. When I first met him he treated me like a Princess, but of course, not every Prince is charming.

I was sure our neighbours heard it, that SHE heard it. I was so embarrassed that I didn't go out for days. Not until I was healed. Even my makeup couldn't  cover the damage.

When I did emerge from my sanctuary I was greeted by the warm sun and the smell of freshly cut grass. That's when I saw her come towards me. She thrust a hand in front of me and introduced herself as Lana. What a name I thought to myself. My heart thumped to the beat of her name.

Lana, Lana, Lana.

She invited me over for lemonade in her neatly arranged garden. As we sat on the cool slabs by her pool I could see her looking at the bruises. They looked horrendous. Not as bad as a few days prior but still ugly.

Lana took off her heart shaped sunglasses and asked if I would do the same. I hesitantly obliged my hands shaking slightly. If my cut lip was enough to shock her then the cheek and eye would to. He had given me a real sucker punch. I winced as her fingers lightly traced the bruise.

Her emerald eyes looked so sorrowful and sad that my heart bled.  I know I must have looked dreadful. Lana just shook her head and took my hand. She led me inside her house and sat me on a stool.

What happened she asked. I shrugged, no one had ever asked. No one had ever cared. I felt myself begin to lie and stop halfway through. She stared at me as I shifted uncomfortably in the seat. Show me she said. I made a face and decided it was time to leave. As I made my way to the safety of my home I couldn't help but smile.

Someone cared.

When he came home he was in a peculiar mood. I could tell by the way he banged open the door that he had been drinking again and he made no move to cover it. I knew what he wanted and couldn't bare it, not tonight.

I ran upstairs as I usually did when I heard the door slam shut. I prayed he wouldn't find me. I had such a good day with Lana, please don't let him ruin it. As he clumsily climbed the stairs I heard the clang of his belt hit the floor.

I slid under the bed, hoping he wouldn't look. I closed my eyes and focused on steadying my breath. But alas the monsters always get you in the end.

I gasped as he pulled me by my ankles out from under the bed. His muscles bulged as he picked me up and threw me on the bed. His trousers were already undone. I tried to roll of the bed, the bruises from a couple nights ago aching.

He grabbed my legs and pulled me to the edge of the bed prying them open.

I banged my fists at him trying to get away. But he was too strong and easily overpowered me. I felt bile rise to my throat as he laughed in my face. He loved scaring me. He pinned my wrists down and straddled me.

What happened next seemed to be a natural occurrence. Over the seven years married to him I don't know what made me think moving would change him.

The next morning he was gone, I examined myself in the bathroom mirror. I was disgusting. Before I knew what happened next I threw my fists hard into the mirror. Shards fell, covering the floor completely. I picked up the biggest piece and contemplated ending it. I hated my life. I hated him. But I threw it down in frustration. I was a coward.

The one and only thing that kept me from cutting my throat was the thought of Lana.

I smiled, the girl next door.