HER

CHAPTER 20 Endings (LANA AND MARINA)

MARINA

I hadn't seen her in three years, after that dreadful night we agreed to part. Knowing that it was for the best. Although we both knew deep down that it wasn't. At least, that's what I told myself. She was right. I needed to be my own person again, to finally take care of myself and grow. I was so used to caring about someone else's needs that I had completely neglected my own. 

I still missed her dreadfully. 

The thing I missed most was sleep. The feeling of Lana lying next to me. The warmth that used to seep from her limbs into my own. The way her hair tickled my face as we slept. Her breathing, the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest, were my lullaby.

I felt I was truly awake when I was with her. Before I would wake up on a cloud. Unaware and bewildered by life. I felt like my reality was a dream within a dream within a dream. That I would only wake up when it ended.

I was wrong.

After all that time I never stopped loving her.

Every time I walked on the beach and gazed out into the ocean I was reminded of her. It felt like I would finally move on and then bam. There she was. Each crunch of sand under my footstep made my chest ache. 

Until one fine morning I finally saw her again. She was by herself at the beach, the weather was wild making her hair and loose skirt dance in the wind.

She splashed in the dark sea, the waves crashing over her. Licking and lapping at her pale calf's.

She still wore her crimson heart shaped glasses. When she eventually caught my eye she bit her lip as she grinned. Ear to ear, like a young girl.

My heart soared once again. The deeply repressed longing had returned...

LANA

It wasn't the saying goodbye that was hard. It was coping with the absence. When something finally good happened the one person that you wanted to tell wasn't there. I would find myself turning to stare blankly at the empty space.

The awful thing about love is the lie we tell our hearts. That it will last forever. When the sad reality is that nothing is certain, nothing can last forever. Infinity simply doesn't exist for girls like us.

It was never complicated with Marina. But it was lovely.

Wasn't it lovely?

The cool water soothed my sun burnt legs as I thought quietly. Wouldn't it be nice to be old? To be free of youth, to be wrinkled and grey. To be able to look back on these memories. Little treasures like shells collected from a beach. Each one precious in its own way.

I blinked at her through my tinted glasses. Hardly believing that she was really there, that she wasn't a figment of my imagination. She frowned. I couldn't help but smile. It was unnerving seeing her again, so casual. I savoured this moment knowing that it wouldn't last. 

She had changed and yet she hadn't. Her hair was long and dark, but her eyes remained the same. Once sallow skin marked with bruises and cuts now glowing and tan.

I wanted to know her. All over again. This new, seemingly happy version. But I couldn't. I really wish I could.

I waved slowly as she walked away, stealing another smile to myself. 

My girl next door...

AUTHORS NOTE:

A huge thank you to everyone that has taken the time to read this. It's something that I've been working on for a while, I do apologise for any bad grammar! Xo

My next fanfic is going to be a Steven Universe one if anyone's interested! (If anyone has any suggestions for future fanfics I'm more than happy to listen)

♥️

As always requests and feedback are welcome!