SPONTANEOUS

01.40

CANCER - TWENTY ONE PILOTS

i will not kiss you.
cause the hardest of this
is leaving you.

she needed to get her mind off of things for sure. she couldn't bare with having to see joey walking around looking exactly the same as before. mackenzie ditched her at lunch, so she had nobody to associate with besides nadia, who's friends hated her.

sitting down at the lunch table, infuriatingly stabbing her salad with her plastic fork, she stared down at it. without realization the only person who had payed attention to her in the room was joey. his eyes watching the friction in hers, and missing her smile. he didn't understand the sudden distance she had wanted. he didn't want it, that's for sure. he didn't realize how vulnerable she made him. only because she accepted him, and made him feel important. she didn't get that she was the only person ever capable of that anymore. he truly had a soft spot for the girl, to say the least. she had a place reserved in his heart and that terrified him.

he tilted his head, that was until he had been nudged by jennifer. he sighed, looking at her.
"i miss her." he crossed his arms over his chest while jen took a deep breath. "what happened?" she asked, furrowing her eyebrows and speaking quietly. "she just didn't want me to speak to anymore.. i don't know what i did but i wanna fix it jen." he turned to face her with concern filling his eyes. "but then again, she left.. and i shouldn't care. but i do." he shrugged it off and furrowed his eyebrows. at this point he had been convincing him on two parts. "but she's also changed me. for the good." he stared down at the ground hopelessly

by the time he had looked back up to her table, catching her to be gone. well, just from his eyes now. he gave jen a distracted pat on the shoulder and walked through the cafeteria trying to find her, his eyes skipping from one person to another. he was looking so far up, unrealistically walking like a normal person to bump into the familiar red head. "oh.. nadia." he breathed, blinking blankly at her. she raised her eyebrows at his alarmed expression. "looking for adri?" she teased, joey just rolled his eyes in response and walked away. now his mood had been ruined again. all he had wanted at the moment was to hold her in his arms. just once. he felt like she had taken his soul with him, but at the same time he felt a different way for some reason.

walking down the hallways, he kept his grip on the straps and pushed into the door to walk out, taking a deep breath once he reached outside and walked into the parking lot to his car. didn't take him long before he was speeding home on the verge of tears. he hadn't even cried this much since maddie passed. he wanted to know the real reason he left her. he was so confused and upset that he didn't even park correctly so he could just rush into his room. up the stairs. passed his mom and sophia. what he hadn't realized is adri had headed home too, standing on the sidewalk and watching him run into his own home.

overwhelmed by his own emotions.

jen and sophia exchanged concerned and worried eyes with each other, jen immediately rushing past the counter and into joeys bedroom. he stood by his window, his palms against his eyes as he sobbed. "mom." he croaked, his voice easily cracking with the tension in his chest. jen, distraught, and concerned rushed to her son, taking him into her arms feeling his face crash into her chest. tears covering the front of her shirt, immensely drenching it. "i miss her." he hiccuped, obviously unable to breathe unevenly. "i miss her so fucking much." he stood up straight now, glaring at the carpet on his floor. sophia stood in the doorway watching with horror, unsure of how he'd cope and who he was even talking about. assuming it was maddie, she spoke up. "she's in a better place now joey.." she tried calming him. his eyes shot up to her, causing her spine to freeze up. "get the fuck out of my room." he switched his eyes to his mom as he spoke. they both saw the pale reflection recover back into his eyes and complexion like weeks before. he slammed the door shut and without any hesitation, grabbed the bookshelf by the side and pulled it off from the wall with all of his strength. by now, tears had been pulsing into and down his cheeks. only half of his room had been destroyed and that was the start of his withdrawal. he took a frame off the wall, a frame of his father and him at a young age, chucking it at the wall and watching the glass shatter and collapse onto the floor.

the rest of it was a blur for his eyes since the tears had taken over at this point. 

waking up on the floor, his eyes puffy and red from all the sobbing he had done. his fists bruised and beaten, severed and wounded. he opened the door, pushing aside a few broken items and walking out from his bedroom lazily. a walking zombie at this point, he made it down the hallway before bumping into the wall and wincing from the pain in his shoulder. it had been dark out now, and the house was quiet. either sophia and his mom left, or they had gone to sleep. it didn't matter to him. he walked outside and into the driveway, sitting on the curb and watching the clouds take over the sky which now easily turned gray. he felt like the clouds. dark but peaceful, not so much peaceful since he felt some of him was missing but he didn't speak now. his throat had been sore prior from grunting and coughing from sobbing so much. if he even tried to speak it would feel like sand paper.

joey rested his forearm onto his knees and stared up at the sky. no thoughts roaming around his clouded, cluttered mind. he didn't have the space to think anymore, his mind throbbing from how much he had done.

adri watched from her window, joey sitting outside at the curb with the small droplets of sprinkling rain starting to fall onto his face. his features almost illuminated in the lighting she had seen him in at the moment. sophia had called her, and knowing after seeing joey run into his house crying she had to answer. through the whole phone call she could hear joeys loud sobs, and the banging from whatever he had been throwing around and hitting. she knew this was her fault but couldn't do anything to stop it. nadia had been over well, and knew the current situation.

"adri" nadia said softly whilst placing her hand onto her shoulder. adri just stared with full emotion down at him and pursed her lips. "i wanna talk to him.. so bad. but i can't." she whispered and tucked her head into the shoulder of the ginger haired girl besides her.
"why not?" nadia responded, combing her fingers through adrianna's hair. adri shook her head, knowing she'd sound stupid if she said why but nadia insisted and took a seat on her bed. "he's a distraction." she simply muttered and rolled her eyes.

nadia, obviously confused, furrowed her eyebrows and motioned for adri to continue explaining. "the last test we had, which i was sure i would've failed if i hadn't have bolted out from the classroom, i didn't even study for and it was because i was spending all this time with joey, and being all caught up with him at 2 am in the library or the diner to even fucking sleep!" she exclaimed. nadia stared precariously at her before any words were spoken. "are you sure it's his fault? because with him you were happier than before, and i know it was only a short while but.. you didn't even take the test adri." she narrowed her eyes and studied each word that came from her own mouth.