Protecting Taylor

Chapter 47

"Are you sure you have everything you need?" Taylor asked once again as I was sitting on the couch with my backpack in front of me.
"Yes, I can't take much back with me." I say.
"Right." She says sadly.
We had ten minutes of time left. They were very prompt and wouldn't wait on me to say my goodbyes once they got here.
"We need to say goodbye now, because they won't want to wait on me when they get here." I explained.
Taylor completely broke down.
"I'm so sorry." She kept saying as if she had failed me in some way, but it was me who was leaving her.
"Don't be sorry. I'll be okay. I promise." I say.
"Alex, it was been so amazing getting to know you. You'll always have a very special place in our hearts." Andrea said.
She was crying and Scott looked like he wanted to as well.
"You guys have been the best thing to ever happen to me and I love you all." I say and try not to lose it.
Time seemed to be moving too fast. It was like I was in a trance.
"I'm going to hug you now, so Taylor can get the last one." Andrea says and we stand to embrace one another.
"You're such a sweet, sweet girl, Alex." She says running her fingers through my hair.
Scott hugged me next.
"I wish it could have turned out different sweetie." He said to me.
I wished it turned out differently too.
Austin was in tears as he hugged me tightly.
"I'm going to miss seeing the coolest, most kick ass girl in the world. I love you kiddo." He says.
"You've been the coolest big brother." I tell him.
I hug Adam next and I hear Taylor sobbing as we only have a minute left.
"You take care of yourself kid, we love you." He says softly.
"Take care of Taylor." I whisper to him.
He nods slightly to let me know he heard me. Then it's down to the most meaningful embrace of all time.
She wrapped me tightly in her arms tightly.
"I have loved getting to know you. You're the most amazing girl, Alex. Please please please be safe and be careful. If you ever get out you will always have a home with me, I promise. I love you so so much." She cries.
Three formal knocks on the door ring out in the house and Taylor grips me tighter. I don't want this hug to ever end. I don't want this amazing life I've built to ever end. My heart races. I have to let her go and go with them.
"Take this, I can't say everything I want to right now because it's too hard, but I want you to hear it." She says handing me and envelope. I tuck it in my bag quickly as they beat on the door again.
I move towards it slowly as the Swift family crowd around the door as well. The cold air rushes in as I face an agent standing at the door with a very unimpressed look on his face.
"Are you ready to go agent?" He asks bluntly.
"Yes." I nod.
I cannot cry. I cannot cry. I cannot cry.
I hear they crying behind me, but I can't cry now because I can't look weak.
Before I step out the door I turn back around once more. I take a few steps and embrace Taylor once more. She's shaking and crying and I don't really care that that agent will get pissed at me for "wasting time."
"I love you Taylor, thank you so much." I say.
She chokes out an "I love you, too."
It's all too much for her and for me too, but I couldn't let them see that.
"Let's go agent." The man says and pulls on my arm rather harshly.
"Bye guys." I wave once more at them and I'm taken away.
I get into the car and once the door shuts I know I'm doomed. I'm going back. I will never see Taylor again. They can't see me in the car as they wave to me from the porch, but I'm waving back.
"Don't pull that shit again." The man says that retrieved me from the door as he drives away and I watch them standing there for as long as I could before we turned a corner and they left my sight forever.
I couldn't read the note she left me here. I'd have to wait until I got back. I felt absolutely numb at this point. There was no hope, I felt. Sure I would get to go on missions, but I would never be free like this again.
The trip was long and silent. I didn't have my iPod to listen to. I clutched at the heart around my neck. That's and the note in my pocket were the only two thing I had that meant anything to me.
After a long car ride and a plane ride and another car ride I was back to the base. I wouldn't dare call it home. It's not my home. My home is where people care about me and that's not here.
An agent directs me to director James's office. I wonder if he already has a mission for me.
"Hello, agent 113." He addresses me and motions for me to sit in the chair across from his desk.
"Hello, director." I greet back.
"How was your mission?" He asks.
"It was successful." I nod.
"I know it was a success, but I want to know how it was."
"What do you mean?"
"I think you're being coy with me." He frowns.
"Um, it was good." I say.
"I understand you had an issue during your extraction."
"How so?" I asked feeling nervous about reviving a punishment for turning back to hug Taylor.
"You know what I'm talking about." Agitation in evident in his tone.
"I'm sorry for my behavior." It was an empty apology I only told to appease him.
"This has happened before. An agent is gone for a long period of time and they come back different. Don't worry, you'll get back to normal soon."
But I didn't want to go back to the way it was before. I wanted to be my individual self. I craved to be free.
"Once we break your spirit, you'll be good as new." He elaborates.
My chest tightens.
"Yes, sir." I nod.
I cannot cry.
"Go to your room, agent. You've had a long day of traveling. Training begins at 5am." He dismisses me.
I say nothing as I exit the room. There is nothing to say or do. This is my life once again.
No matter how much a hated it.
No matter how much I missed Taylor.
No matter how much I want to go back.
I couldn't.
When I got to my room I broke down into tears and faced that I had just lost the best life I'll ever have.