I See My Future Before Me

Prologue

You had to do it. You had no idea how long you would last, so, it’s all, or nothing. After all, you’re about to face the Dreadnought in a few hours. You had to really do it, before anything bad befall you.

You saw him there, standing outside of the van, calmly reading his beloved William Blake anthology. He was alone, and it was a perfect timing.

You inhaled deeply, actually expecting for the worse. Even despite your friend Nico’s reassurance that everything would turn out fine, you just could not shake off the foreboding feeling that this insane idea would end up with disastrous results.

But, then, you’re here with him now. There’s no use turning back.

And as he turned his gaze towards you in an acknowledgement of your greeting, you felt your heart do flips in erratic beats.

“How can I help you?” He said, ever so polite and well - mannered.

“I, uhh,…” You muttered. There’s at least one moment in your life when you just could not stop stuttering. And of all those times, why would you do it in front of the poet, of all people?! “I wanted to tell you something.”

“Go on.” He said quietly as he looked back at the pages of Blake’s illustrations. He may have allowed you to speak, but he sure didn’t look like he wanted to listen to you. Odd.

And this made your confidence plummet to the ground.

“I just wanted to say,… uhh,… thank you. For saving me earlier.”

“I always come when I can to help those in need.” He simply answered.

Your chest felt heavier, your breathing more labored. Your lips trembled as you tried to say the words,…

“You are such a good person, and I,… I really like you,… for that,…”

He was not looking up from his book. Was he even listening to you?

You took what courage and little confidence you had left and decided to pour everything out of your bursting chest.

“What I mean to say is, I really, really like you, V. I just thought I should let you know before,…” There! You finally said the words. But, before you could even begin to say the word ‘Dreadnought’, he looked up from his book with a smile on his lips.

That smile! Was Nico right, all along? That he’s, indeed, interested in you, as well? Were your efforts finally being paid off?

But, wait. That’s not his regular, charming smile. It was more like a,… smirk? A grin? Something felt really off with the look he’s giving you right now. Was it,… pity?

He left his spot and went slowly towards you, swinging his cane playfully.

“Those words you just uttered, were you certain about them?” He asked you, that strange smile still on his lips.

“Sorry?”

He just chuckled, like he was making fun of a child.

“Those feelings you have for me, I’m afraid we do not share them mutually.” He simply said without any difficulty.