only yours | gxg

「7」

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I N D I G N A T I O N

(n). Anger or annoyance provoked by what is perceived as unfair treatment.

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We had arrived at the restaurant, it was in North London and I had known the area very well as I only lived around 20 minutes away. The journey was calming and I had forgotten how nervous I was to be going to eat at a restaurant with someone I had just became friends with, though this wasn't a date at all. Even though it sort of seemed like one. I still had so much to learn about Raven.

We had sat down on a table, talking to each other about the smallest things. I had learnt that her favourite colours were black and purple, and mine were black and blue. She had no allergies, just like me, and she had a dog and a kitten. The dog was a white husky with the name of 'Yuki' which apparently means 'snow' in Japanese. Her kitten's name was Autumn, since she was ginger.

We talked about the most random things comfortably, laughing at stupid jokes and dreading the few moments where she smirked and set my heart on fire. Then she looked past me, and the darkness in her eyes slowly grew again. I looked back and saw Chris, sitting on a table with another girl and laughing with her.

I sighed, pretending not to care about the scene behind me, his blue eyes twinkled every time the girl talked. I faced Raven again.

"I really would not have expected him to come here out of all places." she said through gritted teeth. We had already finished our food, all we had to do was pay the bill and get out of there. But I was too terrified that he'd catch me with Raven and start questioning us, or that Raven wouldn't be able to keep her cool around him.

The last thing I wanted to do was tell her that he was my boyfriend, but I didn't want to hide it from her. Something inside me was begging to tell her, that I'd get a sense of comfort if I told her. And before I realised...

"He's my boyfriend." I mumbled quietly, internally cursing myself for blurting it out. She had managed to hear what I said, and the anger rose on her face.

"What? He's your boyfriend?" she asked, with a stillness in her voice, unlike her now angry facial expression. "He's worse than I thought."

I didn't want to look back again, I didn't want to see him with her. Smiling as if he didn't have a single care in the world. I already had a feeling that he was cheating on me, but I kept trying to tell myself he wasn't. I tried to give myself hope. Right now, I didn't care as much as I should have.

The feeling of rage inside of me didn't bubble up. It was there, but it was still. If Raven wasn't here, I was sure I would have walked myself over to Chris and smacked some common sense into him. Even if it was a truly horrible idea.

If I could leave him, I would. But I'm stuck with him. So I have to keep telling myself I love him. I do. I love him. I don't care that he cheated on me. I can't.

"Alyson." Raven tried to pull me back into reality. The way she said my name immediately made me stare into her dark eyes, the eyes that slowly softened as she continued staring at me. I relaxed in my chair, leaning back and letting the muscles in my legs relax as they unwinded in front of me, slightly touching Raven as she jumped back from the attraction.

I licked my lips as I continued staring at her, the darkness in her eyes completely fading away. "We need to get out of here before I lose it." I muttered. "I can't be near him."

She nodded in understanding, picking herself up after paying the bill. We had split it, but my half was Ashley's money, since she was the one who basically forced me to go out with Raven. Although I didn't mind it much, I was still with Chris, and I couldn't risk getting caught with Raven.