Harry Potter Headcanons and Ships

A Little Different -//- Wolfstar

Sirius and Remus were sitting in the Hogs Head for their usual monthly pint of butterbeer. 
"Oh my god, and last night I could swear James was having a dirty dream about Lily. If he wasn't then I don't know what all those moans were about." Sirius giggled. 
"God, how do people think that way about other people?" Remus sighed.
"I have absolutely no idea." Sirius rolled his eyes. 
"God, are you two musing on how you've never had a genuine sexual thought or crush in your lives?" James asked, coming up beside their table.
"More or less, yes, we are." Remus laughed. 
"Jesus. How can you guys never have had even a romantic inkling? I mean, it's just weird." James said.
"Yes, thank you James. Because we weren't aware." Sirius rolled his eyes. He'd been thinking a lot about it, and he knows he wouldn't mind the romance part with a certain person. Like Remus. He knew him so well that he didn't think he'd mind cuddling and maybe kissing? But Remus? He didn't think Remus was really interested at all, so he'd never said anything. James began droning on and on about Lily, and Sirius let his mind slip off into other thoughts, mainly what it would feel like to hold Remus' hand.
Remus couldn't keep listening to James talk about Lily. As much as he loved his friend, he'd heard everything and more about Lily Evans. He let his eyes drift over to Sirius, who looked lost in thought. His curls drifted down his face, and his grey eyes were bright, and he had that little half-smile on his face. Remus was attracted to Sirius. He knew he was, and he's known for a while. Not necessarily sexually attracted to him, but more of an aesthetic attraction and emotional. But would he say anything? Never. Sirius was obviously not looking for anyone, and he didn't want to put that on his best friend. Because Sirius was the type who would just go along with it until Remus decided he wanted them to break up, and he wouldn't be okay knowing that Sirius himself wasn't happy. And he felt like shit even thinking about this. And everything's a mess and he was tired.
As the months went on, Remus was conflicted because Sirius had recently told them he was demisexual, so he was definitely interested in dating if he found the right person. He wanted to jump up and down and yell 'ME! I'M THE RIGHT PERSON!', but he also felt even worse because he could never be worthy of Sirius. Sirius deserved someone who would make him happy and love him unconditionally. He deserved everything, especially after being through everything he had as of recent. Remus wasn't charming or handsome or funny or skilled or remotely talented. He knew he'd graduate, bury his feelings, become a social pariah(most likely), and barely support himself and survive like that his whole life. His werewolf-ness kind of narrowed his future down to homelessness and loneliness or bare minimum survival and self hate. 
However, one night, when Sirius was drunk off his face and laying in his bed next to Remus', he confessed his feelings for Remus, and Remus' insides became a pile of mush. By the time he'd even come up with a reply, Sirius was passed out and snoring. 
The next day, sitting on the common room couch, Sirius was reading a book Remus lent him while Remus read a library book, and he noticed on of Sirius' hands was just laying on his leg. Very carefully Remus reached over and laced their fingers together, trying to hide his blush and concentrate on his book. Sirius looked up and smiled, and Remus just blushed so badly he thought all the blood in his face was going to make him pass out. 
For the next few months it progressed that way until the night of the End of Year Bash for the 6th years. Remus and Sirius were laying on the couch together, not saying anything, just enjoying each other's company. Sirius was a tiny bit drunk, and a lot in love, and he realized this may be a good time for some of that Gryffindor courage everyone always talked about. So he kissed Remus. On the mouth. And Remus didn't kiss back. He was so shocked his brain stopped working. Sirius quickly pulled away and started to leave saying 
"I'm so sorry. I messed everything up." and Remus just looked at him walk away for just a second before he started after him.
"Padfoot if you don't get back here... we are not done here. Explain to me what just happened?" he asked. 
"I... uh... I love you." Sirius mumbled, standing at the base of the boys' stairs.
"I love you too, Pads..." Remus said awkwardly.
"No, I mean really, Moony. I have feelings for you. And I have for quite a while." Sirius said. 
"Me? No. Sirius, I'm all wrong for you." Remus resisted.
"No you're not. You're exactly the person I want." Sirius fired back.
"I'm not worth the trouble, Sirius. I'm just not."
"Um excuse me I'm going to have to ask you to not talk about the man I love like that. Keep this up and I will fight you. And you know I don't play fair, Moons." Sirius said sternly. "Is that clear?" he asked. Moony rolled his eyes, blushing the whole time.
"Crystal. Now let me make this clear: our first kiss sucked. So get back over here and let's do this properly." Remus ordered, and Sirius obliged. 
As time went on, Sirius started to worry about The Sex Question. Which was basically: 'was Moony going to want that?'. Sirius just didn't know if he could ever give Moony that.
But there was nothing that Remus wanted more than just Sirius himself. 
"Fuck sex. Who cares?" he said once, and that settled it. Sirius and Remus just lived. Although Sirius shed everywhere, both human and animagus, which drove Remus crazy, they were happy. They didn't have the happily ever after everyone always envisions. But damn it if they weren't happy. And that's all that mattered.