Curse Of Pain

Chapter 17

Harry's POV

His eyes widened. He grabbed my hands and looked intently towards me. "It doesn't mean you need to. Harry there are so many people who want to help you. You've spent your entire life helping others. Please. Let someone help you for once. I don't even care if it's not me, but please let someone in. Stop trying to save everyone from pain and worry because it's life. That's going to happen and shutting yourself away is only going to make it worse. For yourself and everyone around you. I don't know the full story, I don't know how long you've been suffering, but don't you want it to stop? Don't you want to live life without constantly being in pain?" He asked me.

"You think I want to continue living like this? Constantly hiding from the world because there are people who would enjoy seeing my head on a platter? You think I want to worry my friends and Teddy? I don't. There's nothing more that I want to make sure of. I'm sick and tired of making everyone worry about me, but this isn't something that's ever going to go away and everyone needs to accept that. I pretty much already have. It's not going to get better for me and I'm sorry, but I'm afraid that if I let someone in, if I let someone help me, then if they fail and I die from this, they will never forgive themselves and I can't let them live with that regret!" I shouted.

"And what do you think everyone is gonna feel when they didn't help you? It's like the war all over again, Harry. You knew you had to die to kill Voldemort and instead of letting your friends help you, you shut them out. Ran away and never even said goodbye and ran right into the middle of the Battle before even questioning yourself. You didn't see it, but I did. When we saw Hagrid carrying your lifeless body, we felt nothing but dread at the idea of you being gone. And don't say that's not what happened, that you did tell someone because I know you didn't because that's so like you."

"That's not fair."

"What you're making your friends go through isn't fair. You honestly think it makes them feel good knowing that you lock yourself away an hour a day and come out looking like you got hit by the knight bus?" He said in all seriousness.

"You don't understand."

"Of course I don't understand because you won't talk to me. Harry please-" I pulled my hands out of his grasp and stood up.

"It doesn't matter. Why should I trouble you or anyone else with my problem when there's nothing anyone can do about it." My defenses were going up and I just grew more and more upset.

"Because we care about you! Is it that hard to believe that there are people that love you and would do anything for you!" He retaliated.

"It's not that. I know I have people that care about me, it's just different. It comes natural to all of you! But me? Not once! I've always had to keep things to myself, whether it was the abuse I received from my Uncle! Or when Voldemort penetrated my mind and everyone thought I was going crazy! When I learned that I was a horcrux and had to die! And now! I've always had to handle things on my own. Did my friends help me? Of course they did, but no one will ever understand the things that happened to me. I'm gonna die Draco so what's the point!?" I screamed a little louder than I should.

The room grew silent. Draco looked at me, disbelief in his eyes.

"Is that what you think?" His voice quivered. "That's you're alone and are gonna die! Like hell that's gonna happen! Since when are you so negative about life? Huh? Are you really gonna give up that easily? What about Teddy? Huh? What's he gonna do if he thinks you're gonna up and die one day?"

I hesitated. I've always pushed people away afraid that one day I won't wake up, but Teddy. I raised him. He's always been by my side. If I were to die, he would be crushed.

My eyes welled up with tears. My body began to shake as I collapsed to the floor. "I can't! I just can't!" I shouted. "I don't want to leave Teddy or anyone, but I've also gotta face the facts! I can't keep doing this Draco! I'm hurting too much a-and I don't know what to do!"

He wrapped me in his arms and I gripped tightly onto the front of his shirt.

"Then please, let someone help you. You don't have to go through this alone." I sobbed harder into him.

"Dad?" My head snapped up at the sound of Teddy's voice.

His hair was jet black and tears fell off his chin.

"Oh Teddy." I went over to him and pulled him for a hug.

"You're not gonna leave me are you?" His voice dropped.

"No. Teddy. No. I'm so sorry you heard that. I'm just a little frazzled at the moment ok? Nothing is gonna happen to me, ok? I promise. Teddy I'm so sorry."

"It's ok. I just don't want to lose you."

"You're not. I'm gonna make damn sure. Please don't worry about that. Teddy look at me." His gaze focused for at me. "I love you. You know that right?" He nodded his head. "Nothing bad is gonna happen ok? I won't let it. Remember what you told me a few weeks ago?" He nodded his head again. "I need you to believe in that for yourself. I'm gonna be ok." I pulled him closer to me.

Soon enough Draco and Scorpius joined into a group hug and we all stood there buried in each other for awhile.

When we pulled away, everyone's eyes were red and puffy from crying.

"How about we all go for some ice cream?" The boys eyes lit up at my suggestion.

We slipped our shoes on before apparating to Diagon Alley.