STEEL-MINDED | erik lehnsherr

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Erik sat at the table, ham sandwich sat on a plate before him, a singular bite taken from it. He couldn't help but feel that what Grace had said to him was right. He hardly knew her, why should he be up in her business. He had no reason to protect her, she was a grown woman and whatever childish attraction he'd experienced towards her had been misplaced.

He'd expected her to reciprocate the feelings and hadn't take into account that she wasn't in her right mind. The thing in her head had used him and she'd been alone so she'd taken his affection like medicine in the hope that it would save her.

The clock ticked softly on the wall. He wanted to punch it, anything to make it stop. Five thirty it read. Early evening. He was exhausted. Everything that had happened had drained the life out of him. With his head in his hands, he wished that everything would just go away.

Grace's tea had gone cold as it sat abandoned on her bedside table. Erik had just been trying to help and she'd pushed him away. She felt guilty, she knew what it was like to feel unwanted. She did want him around she just didn't want to be pitied, to be looked at as helpless.

Her headache was still present and was getting worse as she sat there. She was cold and no matter how tight she wrapped her dressing gown around her it didn't make any difference. The tears had begun to fall and Grace had decided they were now a part of her everyday life.

It depressed her, even more, when her brain registered that what she really wanted was a hug, and not just any hug one from the only person whose embrace carried an unspoken promise of no judgement. 

Erik had been the first person Grace had ever trusted with full and utter certainty that it was genuine. Everyone else had either betrayed her or manipulated her. He'd never hurt her or caused her any intentional grief. He'd been kind without ulterior motive. 

Once she'd gotten to see him for who he was she'd realised that he was so broken he shouldn't have been able to carry her as well. But he was strong, stronger than he should be and he'd taken her hand to guide her despite it all.

She missed the way he reassured her, the way he caressed her hair when she was in tears, the way he didn't ask. She traced a finger over her bottom lip, remembering how gentle he had been. She missed feeling loved.

"I'm in love with Erik."

Grace stood in Charles's doorway like a statue. Her tears had been dried and she was going to keep it that way.

The professor took a second before looking up at her, his eyebrow raised in confusion. 

"You don't have to say anything but I thought you should know," she said, "Also that's not what I came here to say but it came out so we're doing that too."

"Okay?" he said with uncertainty. Moving out from behind his desk he gestured for her to sit down. 

Perching on the each of the stiff leather couch, Grace remained very upright and almost rigid. 

"Where do you want to start?"