Not Gonna Loose You Again

diary

The day ended late for Mandy. She has lots of works.

"Love. There is still tomorow, come on i will send you home." Ryan said.

Mandy looked at him
"Please don't call me that way." She asked.

"Yes i have the right, since you" he leaned close to her ears "since you pulled me for a kiss."

Mandy pushed him. And went back to her work.

"Come on love, please.."
Ryan said like a baby.

Stop please
She said on her mind

"Fine! Just 5 more minutes." She said. The boss locked his office.
Mandy then arranged her things locked the drawers. She was to pick her bag, Ryan got it for her.
Ryan walked and paused like a model while walking Mandy grabbed her phone captured it.
She send two photos to Ryan but kept the rest.

They bought dinner on their way home.

"Can i sleep at the house." Ryan asked.

"Well, it is technically your house.  Yup you can anytime you want."
She said casually.

They ate dinner peacefully.

Ryan glances at her once a while.

"You can speak you know."
She said.

"Love." Ryan looked at Mandy intently.

Mandy cannot meet his eyes.
"Just eat."

"Love call me sir in the office, but call me Ryan or love here or anywhere else. Please."

Shut that soft and gentle voice of yours it melts me
Mandy on her brain.

"Love, answer please."
He pouted.

She laughed. "Look at you, you are like a dog."

"A cute dog," he asked smiling.

Mandy shook her head and continued eating.

"Love i will wash the dishes, you have worked a lot today. It is not good for your hands."
Ryan said.

"But." Mandy is to protest.
But kissed she speak no more.

"Protest and you will be kissed." Ryan said smiling.
He won he washed the dishes. But Mandy wiped it and putaa it on their place.

"Love can we talk?" Ryan said.

Mandy get a red wine and two red wine glass.

"Love, i want you to be honest. Don't you have any feeelings for me."
Ryan asked.upon sitting on the coffe table's chair in the terrace.
Mandy looked  at him eyes to eyes.

Randy melted seeing those beautiful brown eyes. He slowly get close to her unconciously, their distance is a breath away.

But Mandy looked away. It brought back Ryan to reality.

"Wait here" Mandy stood.
She walked to her room. She get her diary.

She walked back and  gave the diary to him.

"I am hesitant but if you will read this and nothing changed then it will be setled." She said.

She gave the diary.

Feb 16, 2011

I woke up and he already left my heart is torn right now.
I have loads of heaviness, why did i let it happen? I'm sober. I am in my right state of mind. But why did i initiate it to happen?

What if he knew it. I wish he will forget and we will still be friends.
How vould i say sorry? Will he forgive  me? Will he talk to me again?