Strings Pulled By Fate(DLS#1)

18

18SPBF

The New Start

"Say yes this time,Aurora" he pleaded "Be with me and forget luis. Let me show you what you really deserve"

He's holding my hand. Nakatingin siya ng deretso saakin. Ni hindi ko na alam ang uunahin. I fucking felt guilty while looking at lucas's bruise. Ang alam ko lang bigla siyang sinuntok ni luis tapos noon ay hinigit ko na si lucas palabas. I can hear sofia and marie calling me pero hindi ako lumingon.

"But lucas...I don't know if I'm ready. I don't want to do this to you. No,you deserve someone who will love you wholeheartedly. Hindi katulad ko." I held on to his hands tighter "Lucas...i have nothing to offer to you. Wala ako. Nakikita mo ba to? Itong tangang babaeng to na umaasang kahit minsan minahal siya ng gagong sumuntok sayo? Itong babaeng to ba yung gusto mo? Yung pumayag sa isang lecheng arrangement na yan. Gusto mo parin ba to?"

I saw how red his eyes were. Ang nagbabadyang luha ay pumatak sa magaganda niyang mata. Ang mga mata niyang hindi dapat umiiyak dahil hindi naman iyon ang nararapat para sa kaniya.

"I still want every inch of that brave woman." He said making me cry even more. Hindi na naubos tong luhang to "I want you everyday. I want you now. And I'll want you the following days. Hindi mo ba makita kung gaano ko kagusto na maging akin ka?"

Tumungo ako. Hindi ko na siya kayang tingnan. I'm fucking hurting lucas,iyung taong hindi ako iniwan. Yung taong walang ginawa kung hindi mahalin ako at ang anak ko. Yung taong walang ibang hiniling kung hindi ang mahalin siya.

"But I'll break your heart." Hikbi ko.

"Already broken,Aurora" he said and kissed my knuckles habang patuloy na tumutulo ang luha sa mga mata niya "But I'm willing to fix you,at this state,I'm still willing to fix you. Ikaw parin ang uunahin ko,Aurora."

Umiiling ako. Hindi. I am not for him. He deserve someone better. I am the worst he can have. Or maybe I don't even deserve anyone dahil sa lahat ng pananakit na nabigay ko kay lucas. Hindi ko ata deserve maging masaya.

"I'm not for you,Lucas. I swear,someone out there is for you,much better. Pero hindi ako. Kase sa ngayon,hindi ko kaya lucas. Kahit ipilit ko ang sarili ko sayo o kay anton o kahit kanino,alam ko kung sinong mahal ko. Lucas,I'm really really sorry. If this is life's way of telling me na karma ko ang pagtanggi sayo,buong puso kong tatanggapin. I don't want to hurt you,kaya ngayon palang,gusto kong bitwan mo nako."

Pumikit siya. Binitawan niya ang kamay ko at tumalikod ng bahagya saakin. Kitang kita ko parin kung gaano niya pinipigilang umiyak. I hugged him from behind.

"Lucas,thank you. Thank you for staying by my side. Thank you for being yael's father. Thank you for being my anchor. Thank you for the warm hugs. Thank you for everything. But i guess that's it,you need a life of your own. You need to find someone who's gonna spend this lifetime with you–"

Humarap siya saakin,"The be that person,Aurora. Spend this whole life with me. Ako nalang. Ako nalang yung piliin mo,please" napahawak ako sa dibdib ko.

He's fucking begging para piliin ko siya. Pero alam ko e.

There's just this one person i want to be with.

Kahit sobrang sakit na.

Kahit sobrang gulo na.

Kahit anong mangyare,sa kaniya parin ako humahawak.

And that's luis. No one replaced him. Walang nakapalit sa kaniya. Kahit si lucas na nakasama ko ng tatlong taon,hindi siya napalitan. My love for him was the strongest.