11 | New Colors
Tuesday, October 17, 2017
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Insanity:
The fact that I never went blonde before college.
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I'm going to tell you all something about my mother.
Madeline Kuns is a wonderful woman. I love her with all of my heart, and we're pretty much the exact same person in a lot of categories. (1) But there are two things that I know, for a fact, that my mother would never do.
1. Madeline Kuns would never have replied to Peter Abbey's text with "Sure."
2. Madeline Kuns would never dye her natural hair blonde.
I did both of those things.
Since this is not a picture book, perhaps you do not know what I look like. (2) I'll give you the basics: I'm 5'7" and have a love-hate relationship with that height. (3) In October 2017 I weighed 133 pounds, which was eight pounds more than my goal weight. I have hazel eyes that vary daily on whether they want to lean more towards green or brown, but I'm pretty sure it just has to do with what color eyeshadow I'm wearing on any given day. And in October of 2017 I had shoulder-length hair that was the color of milk chocolate (even though dark chocolate tastes far better).
My entire family was brunette, and I still had the lightest hair out of all of them. But since I was twelve years old, I wanted to be blonde. I felt like everything about my appearance was in the middle of something—my height was on the tall side of average, my eyes were in the middle of green and brown, and my hair was in the middle of brown and dirty blonde. My skin tone was even in the middle of being pale and being tan—I wasn't ginger-level paleness, but I also wasn't anywhere near the tan skin of my Argentine grandfather.
I wanted to have something about me be very permanently on one side of a spectrum. And thus, I had always wanted to be blonde.
Before leaving for college, I had threatened my mother with going blonde. I told her I would dye my hair the second I set foot in Utah. She didn't believe me, and after a month and a half of being at school, I still hadn't done it.
But breakups are the perfect time for trying new things.
"The Lyft is gonna be here in two minutes. You ready to walk downstairs?" Ashley asked, slinging her purse over her shoulder.
"Yeah, I'm ready." I nodded, feeling my heart start to speed up. I had done meticulous research into salons that specialized in blonde transformations, but I was still incredibly nervous about what I would look like the next time I stepped foot into my apartment.
Ashley, a natural blonde, was going with me to get highlights. And for support. She was always there to support me.
"Then let's go." Ashley nodded, opening the front door and letting me walk out first. I walked confidently, trying not to let her know how nervous I was.
College was for trying new things, right?
***
Right.
The suspense was over: I loved my blonde hair. My stylist had been incredibly easy to work with and was insanely talented; she was able to take me from brunette to blonde in one session, and I was over the moon. (4)
(It's currently November of 2018, when I'm putting pen to paper, and I am still blonde without a chance of going back anytime soon.)
The entire apartment freaked out when I got home, which I loved. I didn't exactly enjoy being the center of attention, but with a change as drastic as that was, I was ready to make an exception to my regularly scheduled emotions.
I called my mother when I got home as well. She said, and I quote: "Okay."
Just in case anyone was wondering.
"Hey, Morgan? Do you wanna go out with this guy tomorrow night?"
Paige walked into my room later that night, hair wrapped in a towel and a face mask on. I looked up curiously. It would certainly be a good way to get out there before Peter came over the following day to supposedly apologize for what went down.
I felt like guys didn't actually know how to apologize, so I wasn't buying it. (5)
"Who is he?" I asked, "I don't usually do blind dates."
"His name's Ben Johnson, and he goes to the same church building as us." Paige said, "His number was on a white board on Sunday and I thought it would be funny to text it, but I'm kinda dating Sam now, so I can't go out with him." She shrugged, "I think you guys would be cute."
I nodded slowly before turning back to my phone.
"Yeah, sure. What's his number?"
Paige read his number out loud off of her phone and I typed it in before adding him to my contacts.
"I'll shoot him a text." I nodded, "A date after Peter would be good."
"That's what I was thinking." Paige grinned, "Let me know how it goes!"
I would like to preface the rest of this book by saying that my decision to go on a date with Ben Johnson is still affecting my life to this day. (6) And not in a good way.
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Theory:
This isn't a theory so much as the reason for the previous insanity. My mother didn't believe in 'fake hair.'
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(1) Like 99% of categories. We even laugh the same.
(2) Lucky for you, if we're being honest.
(3) I feel like I look like a giant in pictures with my 5'1" friends, but I'm also not tall enough to reach a lot of things and have to stand on my tippy-toes to get my bread off the cabinet every morning.
(4) I'm gonna clarify this real quick: I was a pretty yellow blonde, and my goal was white blonde. It takes multiple sessions and hard work to get to that point, and we finally reached it in around September 2018—almost a year later.
(5) This was a very intelligent way of looking at it, by the way.
(6) As in, in November 2018 it was affecting my life. In April 2019 while I'm editing, it now just results in a few awkward moments.
YOU ARE READING
Theories of Insanity
Teen Fiction"Based on" a true story College is rough. It's a time for figuring out exactly who you are, what you want to do with the rest of your life, and who you want to be. But for Morgan Kuns, it's also a time to find out that the people surrounding you can...
