Theories of Insanity

16 | Apple Juice

16 | Apple Juice

Saturday, November 11, 2017

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Insanity:

Getting bent out of shape over apple juice.

Even More Insanity:

Being so obnoxious that you cause your roommates to get bent out of shape over apple juice.

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            "Wait, what are we labeling this?"

            I held up a carton of apple juice to the apartment, waiting until someone looked up to tell me who had bought it.

            "It's for the whole apartment." Christina nodded, "That's on the group list."

            We had stopped doing group grocery orders completely, and instead had turned to a mixture of different ways of grocery shopping: Paige, Christina, Madison, and Samantha all bought their own groceries completely separately while Ashley and I bought ours together so we could plan for healthy meals, do meal prep on Saturdays and Sundays, and not have to pay so much. But we all shared certain things that we didn't want to have six of in the fridge: milk, eggs, butter, juice. Common commodities that everyone would likely benefit from.

            "Alright, sounds good. I won't put anyone's initial on it." I nodded, picking up a box of protein bars and labeling them with "M+A" for Morgan and Ashley. "Hey Ash, we could be getting married with all of the food labeled that way."

            Ashley laughed as she wrote our initials on the label of a package of ground beef.

            "You right, you right." She handed me the package and I stuck it in the freezer, stepping over Samantha and her eight boxes of macaroni and cheese. (1) "What are we making tonight?"

            "The spicy shrimp burrito bowls." I replied instantly, "Those looked insanely good on Pinterest." (2)

            "I'm down. Not too spicy though, I know you."

            I rolled my eyes. I was the stereotypical white person who was not into spicy foods. (3)

            "Yeah, whatever."

            We continued to label our food before Venmo-ing Christina for our part of the group bill.

            "Hey Morgan, I forgot to tell you, I saw Ben the other day." Paige mentioned.

            I wanted to gag at the memory of making out with him, but I held it down.

            "Yeah? That's unfortunate." I laughed, glancing up at the pink board on the fridge, where I was the sole apartment member with more than one tally. (4) "Did you say anything?"

            "Well, I almost did." She shook her head, "He was talking to this girl and I totally thought it was you, so I was gonna say hey. But then I walked closer, and it wasn't you, but the girl looked exactly like you, I swear. It was freaky."

            "Weird." I shook my head, "Well, hopefully she can date him, and I can stop worrying about bumping into him at church and stuff."

            "True." Paige nodded, "It just freaked me out."

            "Hey, maybe he has a type." Madison suggested.