Theories of Insanity

27 | Finally, Friends

27 | Finally, Friends

Monday, January 29, 2018

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Insanity:

Not having met normal people at Legered earlier than January.

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            "Have I told you guys about my crazy roommate?"

            "Boy-crazy, or like, really crazy?" Hannah asked as she unloaded a bag of spicy filets (1) into the tin in front of her, "Because there's definitely a difference."

            "She's both." I laughed, "Like, I woke up to her staring at me at 3 o'clock in the morning, but she also has been stalking this one guy for like two weeks now."

            "Dude, spill." Amy ordered.

            I thought back to a few different scenarios that had played out in the past two weeks since Madison had invited herself over to Nathan's apartment at 10:00 at night.

            "Well, there was the Wednesday after she crashed at his apartment, where she saw him walking back from class and shouted his name a bunch of times. She came home and told us all how he hadn't responded to her even though she swore they made eye contact. So, obviously she followed him all the way to his apartment to say hello, and when she caught up to him she was completely offended that he didn't invite her inside."

            "So...she backed off at that point?" Hannah asked, "If a guy did that to me then I would for sure bury my head in wet cement."

            "You would think, right?" I laughed, "But this girl is next level, guys. I can't even explain how her brain works, because thinking about it makes me want to die."

            "She went after him again?" Amy's eyes were wide.

            "Two more times." I rolled my eyes, "That Friday and then last Monday, she did the exact. Same. Thing. She saw him walking, he saw her, and she followed him to his apartment in hopes that he would invite her inside or at least ask her out again. But he didn't."

            "That's awful." Amy laughed, shaking her head as Hannah looked like she was experiencing extreme second-hand embarrassment. "Please tell me she's done with him."

            "Well, when she came home last Monday after he rejected her for the fourth time...I think fourth time...she was talking to all of us about it, and asked Paige if Bryant had mentioned anything about it."

            "Alright so I know Paige is another roommate, but Bryant is...?"

            "Paige's cousin, who happens to be Nathan's roommate."

            "Oh, no."

            "Oh, yeah." I shook my head, resisting the urge to laugh, "Madison asked Paige if she thought that things were going well with Nathan, and if Bryant had mentioned anything. Keep in mind, it's been over a week since their first date, and he hasn't made any move to ask her out on a second, despite her following him home three different times. Paige looks way uncomfortable and kind of says, 'Well, I think he's planning another date soon.'"

            "No."

            "No way."

            "Yes." I finally started laughing, "She flat-out lied through her teeth because none of us know how to properly let Madison down. It's honestly terrifying to tell her something she doesn't want to hear, and that's where the actually crazy part comes in. Like...the first week I knew her, Ashley and I told her that the library was closed on Labor Day and she banged her fists on the kitchen counter so loudly I thought the roof was falling down."