Theories of Insanity

35 | Theories of Insanity

35 | Theories of Insanity

Monday, April 23, 2018

            It had been forty-six days since I wanted to hurt Madison Ames with every fiber of my being, and I was doing a little bit better. Part of that was based on the fact that I had not spoken a single word to her in the past forty-six days, and didn't plan on starting anytime soon.

            The biggest thing that had gone into Madison still being alive over the past forty-six days was that I had been sleeping in Ashley and Samantha's room for the first week of that time. On Friday afternoon after the whole ordeal Samantha had gone to the hospital with kidney stones and had remained there for the next week, helped out by her mother and Bella over the past few days. So I had picked up my mattress and plopped it down on the floor in between Ashley's bed and Samantha's bed, and I had hardly entered my own room in the ensuing six days. (1)

            I had talked everything over with multiple people over the past forty-six days...but that didn't mean I was anywhere near forgiving Madison. (2) I had sat with Ashley in the hallway for a little longer that night, crying quietly and hoping desperately that Madison would have just disappeared before I had to set foot in the apartment.

            After I had regained control over myself for long enough to form semi-coherent sentences, I had gone into the apartment and called my parents. Neither Madison nor Paige were home, which was ideal—I wasn't exactly being quiet about everything. My parents had expressed their concern over me continuing to live with Madison throughout the remainder of the school year after everything I told them, but I wasn't sure I had a choice in the matter; it was a tad bit late to search for new housing.

            My mother was my absolute favorite person, though: the next day I was laying on my mattress on Ashley's floor while FaceTiming her and could hear Madison clearly in our room directly next door. I got my lack of tact from my mother, who began complaining about Madison and the entire ordeal loudly through the phone. I shushed her quickly and reminded her that Madison was in the room directly next to me and the door was wide open. She took a deep breath and (3) as loudly as she could, yelled "Well, screw Madison!"

            I didn't stop laughing for the next ten minutes, especially when I heard the door slam shut a few seconds after her outburst.

            What had been getting me through the past forty-six days was most definitely the fact that I had taken the 'no retaliation' command to heart—in the way of me not getting caught retaliating against the girl. For the past forty-six days I had taken small measures to make her life a bit more difficult: I would walk into our room to get my phone charger at midnight while she was asleep and turn the light on for just long enough to wake her up before shutting it off quickly. I still had to do my makeup in my own room—since there was no room for a collection of that size in Ashley and Samantha's—and would go in early in the morning before class and turn on my desk lamp, turning it carefully so it would shine directly in her face and wake her up.

            I had never met anyone who valued their sleep as much as Madison, so preventing her from being able to was the best way I knew to make her life a little more miserable.

            The best part of the entire thing was that if she went to Stephanie shouting retaliation, the hall advisor would probably tell her she was being paranoid and that I was simply living my life. It was a win-win for me, and I needed a few of those.

            I was leaving on the upcoming Saturday for home for the summer, and it was something I wasn't sure was ever going to really come. It would be four blissful months without having to see or hear anything from Paige or Madison, and I wasn't sure if I would be able to recognize my life without having to deal with them.