Theories of Insanity

31 | Planning

31 | Planning

Monday, February 12, 2018

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Insanity:

Calling a guy ending things with you after one week and three dates a 'breakup.'

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            "Alright, so I was thinking California."

            I looked up from the absolutely disgusting raw chicken I was trying to filet (1) without puking and looked at Hannah in shock.

            "California?" I repeated as Amy gave her a similar look, "You are aware that we literally have one day for our 'spring break,' right? (2) How are we going to California over a three-day weekend?"

            Hannah shrugged.

            "We could totally make it work. We could leave Thursday after my shift and Amy's chem lab, and then we drive halfway, stay somewhere Thursday night and go the rest of the way to California on Friday morning, drive back Sunday night." She laughed, "College is about making memories, right? A nine-hour road trip over a three-day weekend would definitely make for a memory."

            I cocked my head to the side and thought about it for a second. I didn't see why it couldn't work; Amy had a car and none of us had any plans for the weekend quite yet. And it was safe to say that I was missing the beach after being in snowy Utah all winter.

            "I have family in Vegas." Amy offered, "I'm sure we could stay with them on Thursday night."

            Hannah grinned from ear to ear, nodding excitedly.

            "So, we can actually do it? You guys are down?"

            Amy and I nodded and all three of us started laughing.

            "Not like this is last-minute or anything." I commented, "We have a month to make everything final."

            "That's not last-minute." Hannah shook her head, "We can totally make it work. It'll be the best road trip ever." (3)

***

            I walked home after work that day practically skipping. I had never been to the west coast in my entire life, and the idea of actually leaving Utah—even for a weekend—was the best thing I had heard in a long time. (4)

            I walked into the apartment and went straight for the kitchen, pulling out the sausage and vegetable mix that Ashley and I had meal prepped the day before. I warmed a serving up in the microwave and sat down at the table to watch the most recent episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. I was done with work, and I was ready to eat and go to bed.

            But relaxing in apartment 1320 never lasted very long.

            Madison and Paige trudged into the apartment less than thirty seconds after I had sat down, both of them gloomy as they set down a grocery bag full of pints of ice cream on the counter.

            "Morgan, did you hear?" Paige shook her head in pity as she turned to Madison, who appeared to have tear stains through her makeup.

            "Hear about what?" I asked, fighting the urge to be petty as I looked at Madison, "Madison, are you alright?"

            Madison shook her head, letting out a legitimate wail as she took one of the pints of ice cream and a spoon to the couch. I turned to Paige, waiting for an explanation.

            "Hank broke up with her." Paige shook her head sadly, "I cannot believe him. Everything was going so well."

            I raised my eyebrows. Sure, I had been avoiding Madison for the past week, but I figured I would have heard about a new boyfriend, at least through the grapevine if not from Madison herself. (5)

            "I didn't know you had a boyfriend, Madison."

            My roommate rolled her eyes, sighing loudly.

            "He wasn't my boyfriend, Morgan. We went on a few dates."

            "How many?"

            "Three."

            "Over...?"

            "The past week." Madison sighed again, tears starting to fall down her cheeks again, "After everything that happened with Nathan, (6) I thought that Hank was the one."

            "You said that about Nathan."

            "This is why we don't talk to her." Madison pouted to Paige, "I don't want to hear this right now."

            I rolled my eyes.

            "Essentially, Hank was super sweet to her and then took her up the mountain on a picnic and told her he wasn't interested in going out anymore." Paige told me as she held Madison's hand while the other girl cried silently, "It's awful. He's awful and she deserves so much better."

            I nodded slowly, still unsure of why this dramatic reaction was a thing. Three dates? I hardly expected a text back after three dates. She had known the guy for a week.

            Then again, I knew that Madison wasn't exactly the most sane, if the Nathan situation had been any indicator.

            "Well, I'm sorry that happened." I managed to cough out. I didn't feel the need to comfort someone who had called me a whore a week earlier, but sometimes you had to be the bigger person. "I hope you feel better."

            I walked out of the room and into my bedroom, closing the door softly before laying down on my bed. Sometimes I just laid there and thanked God that I didn't have a single thing in common with Madison Ames.

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Theory:

I think some people just want attention. And free ice cream.

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(1) We had recently gotten in trouble for the way we were fileting the chicken; evidently there's a specific way that the nasty raw chicken had to be handled. So, it was difficult to have a conversation while also remembering to practically tear the chicken in half without completely wrecking it.

     

(2) Legered didn't believe in spring breaks, so while all of my friends from high school were out partying and tanning at Key West, I got a random Friday that felt just about as special as President's Day. Not that President's Day isn't cool, but like...it doesn't scream fun.

     

(3) This isn't one of those foreshadow situations where it actually sucks. Spoiler alert: it was the best thing I did all semester.

     

(4) Leaving Utah also meant leaving Madison. And by the time 'spring break' (or as we lovingly called it, spring weekend) rolled around, there would be an astronomical number of reasons for me to want to escape her.

     

(5) But let's be honest, the second Madison got any kind of date she didn't hesitate to rub it in the rest of our faces and milk it for as long as she possibly could. I would have known about a new boyfriend.

     

(6) "Everything that happened with Nathan" = them going on one date, set up by Paige, and then Madison obsessively stalking him for months while he became increasingly scared until he told Paige's cousin to tell Madison that he had a girlfriend. That was a lie.