Vexatious Passion

Rewind

Here I'm standing in front of the beautiful memories that are created by Ray and myself . He made such sketches on the blank canvas of mine that now its impossible to forget them. I came back to my senses as Su jerked my hand.

Su-Hey! How long are you lost in your thoughts and most importantly what is bugging you?
Su held my hand and very softly told me 'Babe I thought you'll be happy, I thought Ray would bring you some joy. That is the reason I told you to go for it. I never wanted you to be like this. Look at yourself! You know you can talk to me right? You know I'm there for you'

Rewind
He said he loves me! I couldn't believe the words coming from his mouth.

Why are you doing this to me? My mind shouted and tried me to stop but the heart said everytime we met that we are meant to be.

It was the new year celebration planned by Suzanne and Matt. They wanted all of us to celebrate together. Its been a while when me and Ray are together. We didn't put a lebel in our relationship but surely he calls me my girl. But this situationship bothers me like anything. I kept questioning myself again and again about this desirable man. But evrytime my heart won over my mind.
And yes I fell for him. It was him who forced and started everything but now I believe I'm more into him. But I can't lie to myself Ray has changed. His behaviour towards me and our relationship has changed. But I'm dreaming with my eyes wide open. I decided not to see anything.

Between this one week we spend a lot of time together after he came back from his trip. I sensed some weirdness. I felt that unknown distance between us. It was so obvious still I tried not to see it. How can I avoid? Can I?

It started the second day from that week. He told me to meet him in a park not in the cafe. It made me feel different.
I was wearing a bright yellow dress with polka dots and Ray took my heart away with a green t-shirt and jeans. My eyes got stuck to his when he entered the gate with a mesmerizing smile . The smile from his face should never go, I prayed to god. His smell was all over the air surrounding him and it was coming for me. My knees started becoming weak again the more he came closer.

In a swing he pulled me closer and held me close to him. His broad arms were around my waist. I couldn't stop myself from losing control over me. I held him back and dug my face. I was engrossed in his smell. My senses came back when he called out for me.
I pulled myself from his hold and looked at his well sculpted face.

Ray - You are looking like a queen bee in yellow baby! My angel so beautiful you are. I just wanted to see you for a bit.

He smiled at me and held me softly. He can do this to me and only he can. The magical effect of him, his words and... I stopped thinking. Just gave him a smile and looked back to him.

Ray was talking and I was listening to him adoring him to be precise. Evrytime I feel this way I question myself does he feel the same too?

Ray - My very close friend was telling me that I'm doing wrong and I should back out from this. He was reminding me about my family the family name of mine. He wad saying a Bateman can't do things like this. I thought about this so many times but couldn't thought of any easy way to tell you. I'm confused. I don't know...

All my senses came back with a shock suddenly. Everything felt so suffocating that for a moment I almost felt like gasping out of breath. The man who held me said those kind words sometime back how can he keep all those in his mind hidden! I felt like a fool. Everything inside was telling me to stand up immediately and walk out of that place. But I was unable to react or to gather power to even speak.

Ray - Babe, what happened? I was just sharing his view as I'm confused about these things. I'm not good at all these.

Syrene - Ray  I understood your friend's concern but what do you think about us should be clear. Don't you think?

My voice was stone cold my eyes were glassy but somehow I managed these words in front of him.

To my surprise Ray held my hand very softly. But the words came out from his mouth was earth shattering for me. As I never imagined them.

Ray - I told you everything clearly from the beginning right? So now why do we need to discuss this? We are together now nobody knows the future so lets enjoy the time now.

Can anything ever happen between us or its just right now is all we have?

I stood up with a broken smile cause I couldn't agree with him I knew somewhere down in my mind this may come but never expected so soon. I may have to end this...what other choice do I have?

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