The Girl Who Fell Apart

Chapter 32

Missed

Nakatingin lang ako sa kalangitan, thinking of what I should do next. Sa totoo lang, wala na rin akong maisip besides thinking of giving him up. Sa una palang alam ko naman na eh, wala na akong pag-asa. Hindi ko lang alam kung bakit nandito pa rin ako.

Napatingin ako sa tabi ko nang maramdaman kong may umupo sa tabi ko.

"What are you doing here at the garden, ate? Ba't ayaw mong pumasok sa loob? You're missing the fun, well not that fun exactly though. Kanina ko pa napapansin na absent minded ka. Is something bothering you?" Tanong ni Tan.

I did not bother smiling at him to make him understand that I'm okay, when the truth is I'm not. "Just...thinking some stuff." Tipid na sabi ko at binalik ang titig ko sa langit.

Huminga siya ng malalim at hinawakan ang balikat ko. "Ate, tell it to me."

Umiling ako. I bit my lips hardly when I felt tears forming in my eyes, again. Naiiyak nanaman ako. Hindi na ba matatapos 'to?

"It's not important."

"It is, ate, when it involves you." Sabi niya sa akin habang binibigyan ako ng malambot na tingin.

"Thanks for the concern, Tan. I really appreciate it. Wala lang talaga 'to." Pangungumbinsi ko sa kanya, but the look he was giving me meant the other way. I sometimes hate how he knows me, how soft I am, and how fragile I am.

"Ate, I'm not supposed to say this, but, I know the reason why you came back. I know Kuya Chaos is the reason, even if you try to deny it. Alam kong pagkakita mo ng picture na nasend sayo ni Raeg ay magbabalak kang bumalik rito. Kaya nung tinawagan mo kaming bumalik rin dito ay walang atubiling pumunta kami pabalik, ate."

May sasabihin sana ulit ako, ngunit biglang nakalimutan ko iyon kaya napatikom nalang ulit ako ng aking bibig.

"To cut the long story short, we knew how much you loved Kuya Chaos, but we knew you were broken too. We knew you wanted to save yourself kaya ka umalis, at kaya wala kang narinig sa amin, ate. Now that you're back here and probably, planning to get Kuya Chaos back, we've come as your soldiers. Hinding hindi namin hahayaang masira ka ulit, ate. Not now that we're finally here to protect you."

I was so touched with what my brother said. They knew all along. Alam na pala nilang nahihirapan na rin ako, na pagod na rin akong magpanggap na malakas. They knew how much I wanted to throw my facade away and just be me.

"Thank you, Tan. Thank you so much." Niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit.

He hugged me back. I felt the corner of his lips rise when it touched the side of my face. "Just remember ate, 'pag wala na talaga, suko na ha? Nandito lang kami para alalayan ka. Hinding hindi ka namin iiwan."

I nodded, still not letting go of the hug. "I will."

Malapit na, Tan. Malapit na.

______

"Cupcake, gusto mo pa nito? I could still get you some." Pag-aalok ni Austin sa fries na pinadeliver nila dito sa bahay, kasama na ang mga pizza, burger, at drinks. Nakaupo kami ngayon sa living room at kasalukuyan silang nagkukwentuhan at ako naman, minsan sumasali, pero mas nakatuon ang atensiyon ko kay Austin.

Wait, parang ang weird naman nung pagkakasabi ko doon parte. Basta siya ang kausap ko, ganon.

"Sige. Pakuha na din akong isang slice ng pepperoni. Thanks." I smiled at him.

"Okay." Sabi niya at pumunta sa may table para kunin ang mga pagkain na pinakuha ko.

"Oy, oy, ano 'yan ha? Akala niyo di namin pansin na may sariling mundo kayong dalawa? Baka mamaya magkatuluyan na talaga kayo niyan?" Pang-aasar ni Kiro.