<you have been waiting to meet your idol for years. when the time finally came, you fucked up the whole meet & greet>
.
[a lovatic]
{*TW: SELF-HARM*}
Y/N's POV
She's right there. RIGHT THERE. My idol is RIGHT THERE. I have been dreaming about meeting her for years and my dream is finally coming true. I counted the number of people in front of me. 5. 5 fucking people. I can't wait. Soon after, it was my turn.You will NEVER be as stunning as her
Fuck. The voices. They're here.
Stop idolising her. She's way too good for you
Fuck. She can't see me like this. She's already welcoming me with her beautiful smile... but that didn't work for some reason. I ended up turning around and sprinting towards the nearest toilet as I heard Demi call my name. I let the tears flow freely as I scrambled into a cubical, locking the door behind me. I fucked up. I took out the blade I hidden in my purse. "y/n? Please tell me you're in here!" Demi called out one more time as I dragged the blade across my wrist multiple times. My blade dropped as I did my fifth cut.
"Fuck, I hope she didn't hear that," I mumbled to myself. "Y/n!!! Open the door! I can help you! Please!!!" she banged on the door. Fuck. She heard it. "Y/n, if you're not opening the door, I'm gonna have to bust it down!" Demi tried. I was left with 2 choices. To open it myself, or she'll bust it down. Well, I chose the easy way out. I reached for the handle of the door with my trembling hand.
"Oh my god, y/n! Why? Why did you do this? Please, tell me... I can help you!" She looked at me with begging eyes.
She can't help you. Nobody can. You're useless.
I shook my head vigorously as the voices came back. "Hey, y/n, listen to me. I will not let the voices get you, okay? Just listen to me, please," Demi soothed as she grabbed my shaking hands, coated in blood.
Deny it. You don't need her help. You're fine on your own.
I tried focusing on Demi's voice but I can't. They're too strong. "I-I c-can't! T-They're t-too s-stro-on-ng!" I practically screamed. "Hey, hey, y/n, don't focus on the voices, focus on me! Me! Okay?" Demi said firmly yet soothingly. All I did was nod as my tears came pouring out. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up," she smiled as she pulled me up from the ground and wiped my tears. About 5 minutes of walking, we finally got into her dressing room. She went off to get some first-aid supplies while I just say there, looking at all the costumes she has for tour. A minute later, she appeared by my side. "Okay y/n, this is going to sting a little. Grab my wrist tightly if you need to," she flashed her signature smile at me, once again. "I-I'm so s-sorry for being s-su-ch a-a b-urd-den," I finally got out. "Hey, y/n, don't apologise. I should be apologising to YOU," she replied.
What? Apologising to me? She didn't-
"I am so sorry for not finding you earlier. I should've been a better idol..." She trailed off. "Demi... I was the one at fault, you didn't do anything wrong. I am so sorry for being such a burden to you, " I mumbled (and everyone else). "You didn't have to worry about me... I... kind of deserved it anyway..." Again, I had no idea how I managed to get that off my chest. "Y/n, you don't deserve any of that. If there's anything wrong, you can tell me," She rubbed the back of my hand while I simply shrugged.
Idk... should I do part 2? Lol
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