This might be a real thing between us

Chapter 15

I'm honestly kind of scared of your mom.

Ok, wait! Let me rephrase:

I am scared of what people say of me (in general). So, going back to your mom...

I actually got scared the other day.

So, do you remember when we exchanged pens? And I had yours with your name on it and you had mine that hide my name but on not front and back of the pen? Well... do you also remember that those at school pens and that or teachers will be checking that we have all our materials for school so we can know if we are missing something?

Well... those three days, for me felt horrible... or at least not so fun.

I couldn't sleep well thinking that your pen (aka: my pen that is currently in your possession) had no more labeled names on...

You took them off...

I didn't know why... so I decided to ask why... or well I just told you to be careful because the pen could get lost since it (no longer) had the name of my brother in it. And by that I meant our last name that my two brothers and me share together.

When I asked you this you answered that your mom had told you to take the name/ last name off... I didn't ask further and just kept quiet... maybe you noticed but I'm not sure...

Does your mom hate me? Does she not like the fact that maybe I like you and maybe you like me back? Does she think I'm a bad influence?

This day that I felt too uneasy is when I left you the note that had a secret code in it that says I love you...

Now I regret it!

J left in in your backpack on top of something that I know... you'll eventually take it and see... but, did you see it?

DID YOUR MOM SEE IT?

She probably thinks so wrong of me! HOW COULD I BE SO DUMB!

She probably thinks I'm such and easy girl...

She probably thinks I've got no manners...

She might think I want something with her son and that's it...

She probably thinks of me so badly... I hate myself! Why did I write that dumb note!!! WHY DID I LET MY EMOTIONS RULE ME OVER!?

The next day I didn't know how to talk to you over the pen issue... I didn't even know how you'll react over the note... will you even notice it?

I guess it fell or something cause you never mentioned it... we talked and joked around normally... and then our homeroom class came up... and I braved enough and started writing a letter to you:

Hey, I'm going to ask you something probably very dumb and that makes no sense but,

Did your mom get angry over the pen thing?

Your response was 'No why?' And I immediately felt a relief!

You later on turned around and asked me face by face why I thought of that and I honestly said that it was because she made you remove the name over it. You later on told me it meant nothing that she asked that and that she actually didn't mind the pen having my name but just that she didn't want anybody else to see it. And since the teachers were going to check out materials she probably didn't want the teacher to see the name on it... (or at least this last thing I thought was the final reason)

So that day, I came home, happy and I could sleep, no crazy dreams, no nightmares, no more worries... just peacefulness...

So thank you,
thank you for helping me ease my mind...