Califournia Love

Confused

A few days passed since that day. It was one of the best days of my life and I never felt happier. When Jesse told me he was falling for me, I felt my knees go weak and my heart beat a thousand beats a second. I did not even hesitate to tell him that I was falling for him too. The rest of that day basically consisted of holding hands on the beach like one of those really annoying couples you see on those dating web sight commercials and shopping around at all of the sunglasses stores and kissing some more. I felt so free with him. I love him. He drove me home at about midnight and since then, we have spent every day together. Are we dating? I think so. Are we actually boyfriend and girlfriend? I have no idea.

The thing that has got me so anxious about spending every day with Jesse is going to his place. Not that I don't love seeing the band members, its that one particular band member that has got me so worked up. Zach. Whenever I see him I tense up and my chest feels heavy and I can't even look at him at this point. I know if I do, he will just make some stupid remark about how much he doesn't want me there. Well, he never said that to me but I could tell what he was trying to say. Most of his words consist of "uggghhhhh" when he sees me. He usually just walks out of the room or avoids eye contact with me. I know I should just not even care what he does or says and I should focus all of my attention on Jesse but I feel very unwanted when I am at his house. I dont want to feel like that. I want to feel like the girl that owns her own key and walks in whenever she desires and all of the band members greets her with a smile and a hug and Jesse openly holds her hand and kisses her forehead. I know that probably will never happen but hey, a girl can dream.

Today, I was planning to meet Jesse at the film festival that is going on and I think it will be fun. I'm gonna admit, I could be watching paint dry and it would still be fun because Jesse was with me.

I can hear my phone ring so I run to it as fast as I can to answer it. 

"Hello?" I say as I bring it up to my ear.

"Hey!" The sexy voice says from the other line.

"Oh hey Jesse, what's up?"

"We are still on for the festival, right?"

"Absolutely, why?!"

"Well I was thinking that maybe instead of meeting there, I can just pick you up. I mean I think it will be easier. Unless you want to take your own car, that's cool too.."

"No, you could pick me up! Whatever you want, Jesse."

"Okay, great. I'll be there in about an hour. Seeya."

"Bye..."

I'm glad Jesse wants to pick me up but at the same time I'm not. I don't know why though.

*************************

I see Jesse's BMW driving from the end of the block so I grab my things and run out of the house. The second he pulls up, I hop in the passenger seat. Jesse leans over to kiss me.

"Hello, Andy." He whispers.

"Hello, Jesse." I whisper back.

"Nice shorts." He says as he places his hand on my thigh and backs out of the driveway.

"I love yours too!" I say mocking him.

About 20 minutes into the drive, his hand is still gently placed on my thigh and I hope it never moves. Just as I am about to place my hand on top of his, he punches the steering wheel in rage.

"Dammit! I fucking forgot my wallet at the house! It has the admission tickets and everything!" He exclaims.

"Oh, that's okay! We could just turn around to go get them. Your house is like five minutes away." I tell him.