Califournia Love

Afraid

I woke up hooked to a bunch of machines that annoyingly beeped every 2 seconds. A nurse was standing next to me typing words into a computer.

"Hello, Andy. Glad to see you're awake." She smiles as she goes ahead and checks my vitals. I look around the room as I try to put all of the pieces together.

"Wait..what happened? Why am I here?" I sit up looking at the nurse curiously.

"You blacked out. The ambulance brought you in. Nothing too serious. We think the main cause was dehydration mixed with anxiety. Its not really a good combination. Don't worry, you will be just fine!" She smiles at me trying to make it seem like everything will go back to the way it was. But it won't. I know it won't. My head keeps trying to replay last night over and over again. I remember being at the club. I remember Sean being there. I remember running into Zach. I remember...Jesse. Jesse and that girl.

I sit up and fix the pillows underneath me to prop my body up more. Oh, right. Jesse was with that girl. And I was with Shane but that is a completely different scenario! Shane and I are just friends and Jesse and that girl didn't seem like just friends. The way she was hanging all over him and all.

The nurse finishes up writing notes on a big white board on the wall across from me.

"Hey..uh.. Is there anybody here. You know, from last night." I ask curiously.

"Yes, there is a taller boy with curly hair sitting in the waiting room. I think he said his name was Mike?"

"Mikey," I correct her. "Anybody else?"

"There was a tall boy with a leather jacket and black and white pants here. He got a call about an hour ago and he said he had to take care of some things. Oh yeah! There was shorter boy too I think. He stayed here for a few hours until Mikey came. He left shortly after."

"Do you think you could bring Mikey in?" I ask. I want to see him. He is the only one that I feel is like a best friend. He is very comfortable to be around.

The nurse politely nods her head and steps out of the room. I look around to take in the plain decor and the old hospital smell.

"Knock knock." I hear the nurse say as she leads Mikey into the room. He steps in and looks at me. Just seeing his face there...the only one there..it made me smile.

"Hi Andy. How are you feeling? I suppose that's a stupid question considering what happened. I don't know all the details but Zach walked me through everything. He was here for a few hours but he hates hospitals because a traumatic childhood experience. He apologizes and says he will be back. I tried to talk to Jesse but he just said he wasn't here because he had to take care of something...I'm babbling. I am sorry I just-"

"Its okay!" I laugh and assure him.

"I am doing okay. My mind is still a little foggy but it turns out it was just dehydration with my usual anxiety." I continue. Mikey gives me a half smile and sits in a chair next to my bed. His phone starts to buzz and he quickly answers.

"Jesse?" He asks.

"No. No. Yeah, I'm in the room. Yes, she's awake. Alright, that's fine. I will tell her. Okay, seeya." Was his conversation with apparently Jesse. Mikey hangs up and puts his phone in his jacket pocket.

"Jesse, huh?" I ask.

"Yep. He's coming right now. He said he's like a minu-"

"I don't want to see him."

"What?"

"I do not want to see Jesse Rutherford right now. I want to see you and nobody else."

"Well, I can try t-"

"No. I don't want to see anybody. Please Mikey don't do this to me."

"Okay...okay I won't. I will text Jesse that you want a little space right now."

"Thank you so much, Mikey."

Mikey takes out his phone and texts Jesse exactly what I just told him. I am so thankful to have somebody like Mikey in my life. I don't know what I would do without him. We have gotten a lot closer and it makes me happy.

All of a sudden, the nurse comes back in and stands at the edge of my bed with a clipboard.

"Well, I just talked to the doctor. It looks like you can go home today! we are just finalizing your papers and faxing things over to your insurance company. Once that is taken care of, you are free to go!" She smiles.

"Oh, okay. Thank you!" I say kindly and watch as the nurse walks out of the room.

"That's good!" Mikey says excitedly.

"I guess." I mumble.

"So what are you going to do? You know, about the Jesse thing."

"Do you want the honest answer or do you want me to tell you what I think you want to hear?"

I was hoping Mikey wouldn't mention what happens when I get out of here.

"The honest answer is good enough." Mikey leans closer to me waiting for my answer.

"I think the best thing for all of us is to just move on. I don't even want to do anything about this whole situation. I don't want to have any sort of relationship with any of those guys right now. Its too much to handle for right now especially because of things that I have going on that I never told anybody."

"But don't you think you need to face this situation head on?"

"Yes...eventually. Right now, I don't think I can deal with it mentally or emotionally. Once I get everything situated, then I will do what I need to do regarding this. Please tell me you understand."

"Of course I understand and I respect you for that."

A huge wave of relief washed over me hearing that Mikey understands. I am just afraid somebody might find out my secret....