Love

Seven || Passion

A/N: I GOT MY GIFS TO WORK OMG YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Now I'm gonna go through and fix them. All of them..

"He apologized," she says. 

I look up from my lunch to meet her eyes. She's looking down at her food with discontent written on her face. 

"Are you happy?"

Her lips press tighter together over her teeth. "I don't want an apology," she says quietly. "I want him to change. I want to go back to just a few months ago. Back to when he showed me he loved me instead of just saying it." 

I nod slowly. 

She sighs. "I need a drink." 

"You should slow down. Drinking is okay until it becomes a coping mechanism. Just talk to him."

She purses her lips. "It's a lot harder than that." 

My brow furrows. I don't understand. "It doesn't have to be."

"Well, it doesn't have to be hard to tell someone that you love them but it is, isn't it?" 

Touché, I think. I don't respond to that. I don't even dare to look up at her eyes for fear that she might see what lies behind them. 

"It's different now. Since the fight." She plays with the chopsticks in her fingers. 

"Did he come over after I left?" I shove a spoonful of rice in my mouth to try and shut myself up. I don't know why I asked. I don't even want to know what happened between them after that. 

She nods only once. "He said he didn't know we were close friends, even though I talk about you often. He also said he doesn't know you very well. He offered to spend more time with you to get to know you." 

I stop chewing my rice and look at her. I beg her with my eyes. She knows I don't like him very much. She said that she understood when I first told her. It was weird. 

"I told him I didn't want him around you." 

I resume my chewing in relied. Thank God, I think. 

"So we're going o work hard to keep it working. I don't want to leave our relationship behind, not after eight months, but I definitely want him to change and he knows that. Will he change? I have no idea." 

Her phone begins to ring quietly on the table beside her lunch. She answers. 

"Hello? Hey. I'm with Jimin." Listening... "No, we're having lunch in the cafeteria." Listening... She looks at me. "I mean, I guess so." Listening... She looks at me again, her expression a bit sorrier than before. "I...I guess. He was finishing his food anyway, so..." I look down at my meal. I'm not even halfway done. "Okay..." She hangs up. "Chan-woo wants to have lunch with me." 

"Oh." I take another spoonful of rice. She just stares at me. You can't be serious, I want to say. I look back up at her and she looks away. 

"Would...would you mind eating somewhere else?" She's playing with her chopsticks again. 

I knew she was going to say it. But my heart still hurts with every beat and I can't help but ask, "What?" 

"It's nothing against you," she promises quickly. "I don't want him doing anything like last time. Freaking out on you...or me." She chuckles awkwardly and looks up to my eyes again. 

I already miss her as I stand. When I turn away I immediately want to look back, but I know I can't. She's not my girlfriend. I shouldn't look back to her. 

Chan-woo and I pass each other. His eyes graze over me for a second before he looks past me. I catch a glimpse of his smirk and lifted chin. I hate him. I know he asked her to tell me to leave. I can't believe she's still with him. I hate it. 

.

I sit in my desk chair to finish my lunch. I really should have invested more into my coworkers. If she wasn't my only friend, I wouldn't feel so...lonely. 

I shove another spoonful of rice angrily into my mouth and turn on my computer, planning to work through lunch. Maybe I can pretend to work late and I won't have to walk home with her and pretend like everything's okay. It's not okay. 

Two people stop at the entry to the graphic design department. They pull my eyes away from my computer and grab my attention. It's them. It's her and Chan-woo. They're kissing goodbye. She must have been about to pull away or something because Chan-woo wraps his arms around her back to keep her close. One of his hands goes up into her hair. They're passionate. I can see her face a little bit. She's happy. She's in love. 

I turn away quickly. My heart stabs with pain. I clutch the fabric over my heart with one hand and rub my eyes with the other. My heart has been hurting a lot lately. I close my eyes tightly as I hear them fall gently against the wall. They think the floor is empty, they think they're alone. I wish I was deaf. My sinuses burn and something warm falls down my cheek to the corner of my mouth. I hate them. I hate her. How can she be so oblivious, so stupid? So stupid that she runs back to Chan-woo no matter how shitty he makes her feel, how angry, how crazy. His apologies are more valuable to her than gold. I hate it. 

I hate her. 

I hate that I can't hate her. 

Why can't I hate her? It rushes my heart immediately and the pain of the realization causes more warmth to come falling silently down my cheeks. 

Oh.

I hate it. I hate that I love her. 

I love her. 

You love her. 

A/N: Oof big frown energy :(((((

Sorry I'm updating so much?? I've had all these chapters prewritten so I'm just uploading whenever I want to :P

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