Love

Twenty || New Year

"What are you guys' New Year's resolutions?" Eun-jae asks during a massive yawn. 

It's just Ho-jun, Eun-jae, Jung-mo, Ada, and I left on the freezing roof of Jung-mo's apartment building after his New Year's Eve party. It's nearly two in the morning and the sky is a dark purple hue from fireworks that were lit downtown. 

Ada's tired fingers tap gently on my thigh as she thinks and she drops her head to rest on my shoulder. 

"I don't know," she says. "Maybe focus on my business some more?" 

"What about you, Jimin?" Jung-mo asks through a drunken slur. 

I sigh heavily and look up into the purpley-blue sky. "I want to work out more. Become less scrawny, eat healthier—" 

Ada interrupts me with a snort. "Good luck with the last one," she teases. "You forget who your girlfriend is." 

"Do you cook, Ada?" Jung-mo asks. 

I nod before she can answer. "She's amazing. And her kimchi recipe is absolutely incredible." 

Ada shrugs confidently. "You can never go wrong with a fan favorite." 

"Have you guys officially met family and everything yet?" he continues. I hate when he doesn't this stuff: pries and asks excessive questions. 

Ada grows quiet and I notice, hating the questioning more now. I put my arm around her to bring her body into mine. I feel bad. The last thing I'd ever want is to make Ada uncomfortable and I put her in this situation.

"Not yet," I say in response to Jung-mo's question, so she doesn't have to answer. "We'll probably be heading to Busan in the spring so we can see all the cherry blossoms and meet my family, but we haven't talked about it." The question is upsetting her and I feel stupid for not seeing it coming. For not being able to dodge it. For forgetting something as serious as her family situation she had told me in confidence.

Still, I wrap both of my arms around her now in an embrace, an attempt to comfort her from the mysterious source of her pain. Her arms hold onto my waist, cuddling closely to me in the freezing December, now January, air. She shivers as my fingers find their way into her hair. Whether it's from the chill or my touches, I don't know. 

Jung-mo finally stands and stretches his arms, wrapping his thick blanket around himself again. 

"Okay, that's it," he says sleepily. "All of you go home. I have a meeting with my bedsheets in a few minutes." 

I roll my eyes at him before uncovering Ada and I from our own blankets and tossing it at him. "I'll see you guys at work," I say as I help Ada up from the patio furniture we reclined on. She grips my hand tightly while we say our goodbyes to our friends and head together down the stairs and back to the street. 

"Why don't you stay with me tonight?" I suggest as casually as possible. "It's really late, I don't want anything to happen to you when I leave. You never know who'll be out late on New Year's Eve." 

Ada's quiet for a second and I can feel myself getting nervous over her lack of response before she finally says, "Yes, I can stay." 

I twist the key of my apartment and hesitate in opening, remembering the state I left the place in. Dishes from the week dirtying themselves in my sink, clothes on the floor of my bathroom and bedroom, work designs scattered all over my coffee table and couch, my many shoes crowding the door. I hesitate, leaving us standing in the cold, until my dear girlfriend tugs gently on the sleeve of my coat. 

"Jimin? Are you planning on opening the door?" she teases in her silky, soothing voice. 

"Oh, right." I finally open the door, my apartment swallowing us up in warmth. "It's really messy. I should've anticipated you coming over."