Love

Eight || Distance

A/N: Chan-woo is kind of a dick and uses really crude speech. Just a warning in case it makes you uncomfortable, but it's all necessary I promise.

I leave late and come home early now to avoid her. I guess it doesn't really matter. She doesn't seek me out anymore. 

She comes with him to the graphic design department every day now, too. They kiss hello and goodbye every time. I can't ever look at them. 

I love her. I hate myself for it. 

Chan-woo punches me on the arm on his way to his desk. Usually he just ignores me or eyes me like the cocky jerk he is. He pulls the chair away from the desk nearest to mine and sits next to me. He slings an arm over my shoulders and it makes my neck jerk. I don't look at him. I don't say anything. 

"Come on, Jimin. Something wrong?" he asks with an ugly smile on his stupid face. 

"Park," I correct quietly. 

"We're back to last name basis? Did something happen?" 

"I'm trying to work, Chan-woo."

"Cheong," he says. "Since we're on last name basis again." 

I feel my nostrils flare with anger. "That isn't your chair." 

"I haven't seen you hanging around my girlfriend much lately." He leans back in the chair and smirks at me. 

I don't answer. 

"It's funny to me. You two seemed to be really close friends, but she hasn't talked about you. She really doesn't say a word anymore. When was the last time you two saw each other or spoke? Has it already been almost a month?" 

"I don't count." 

"You should count. I do. It's fun." He leans so close to my face I can smell his nasty breath again. His voice volume drops to just above a whisper, making the small even worse. "I count everything." 

"That's great. I don't—"

"I count how many times you look at her a day, how many times you used to smile around her. I count how many times she kisses me in public, in private, how many days she sleeps in my bed, how many times a week we have sex..."

My jaw clenches and I close my eyes. I try to turn away from him, but he grabs the back of my chair and forces me to listen. 

"...how many times she moaned my name last night."

"Stop," I whisper. I meant for it to be more intimidating, but the lump in my throat is killing my voice. 

"Stop what? I'm just talking about my girlfriend. You know, the girl I love?" 

"If you love her, respect her privacy." I shove his hand off my chair and stand quickly. I hope that the wheels run over his foot. They don't. 

I pick up a few useless papers off of my desk and make my way briskly over to the copier. I place the pages haphazardly into the machine and press the 'copy' button. My breaths are heavy and angry. I grip the side of the copier so tightly that I see my knuckles turn white, but I can't loosen my grip. I take the papers I didn't need, crumple them, and throw them all into the trash. I wish I could throw him in the trash for talking about her that way. She's a person, a beautiful, perfect person, not a piece of property. 

I don't want to stay away from her. I don't want to be away from her ever. I love her. 

And it's because I love her that I have to stay away. I can't stand to think about being around her knowing I can't touch her. I can't touch her, hold her, brush away the pieces of hair that fall into her eyes, kiss her hand, her face, her lips. I can't respect her and her secrets, love her, love her better than he could ever dream of loving her. I can't do anything. 

I hate it. 

So I stay away. I want Chan-woo to stay away from me. He knows. He knows how I feel about her. That's why he says those awful things. He's disgusting. I'm sick of him talking about her like she's just a piece of meat. Like she's his property. If he really loved her, he'd keep those things to himself. They're special. They're secretive. Even people who talk about those things don't talk about their partners that way. 

He's an animal.

A/N: Double update. The two chapters used to be combined but there's too much for them to be like that anymore.

HOWEVER they go so together that one can't be uploaded without the other. 

As promised on my Instagram story, shit's about to hit the fan. 

[btw you should follow me on Instagram I make imagines too lol (awake.fics)]

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